I'm honestly surprised at myself that I didn't do this sooner and at some point I must have convinced myself everyone knew what was going on with me because this journal honestly feels like a repeat--but for everyone still waiting on a commission from me, I'm afraid I don't have any good news. That's not to say there have been new developments or further delays, simply the same situation caught in stasis--my car is completely dead, I can't transport myself anywhere and getting to work depends on either carpooling or spending half a paycheck on Uber rides. There's a used car dealer selling a cheap as hell car close to me, only 1700 if I recall, but trying to work out financing even for that small amount has been a time and logistical nightmare--if I had 6 months to save up, I could probably buy it outright, but there's no way it will be available that long.
I wish I had some better grand excuse as to why I haven't uploaded anything I've worked on yet, and I have been working, but the bottom line is I just can't spend 10 minutes trying to draw without tabbing back over to browse more job postings or car listings or other ways to make money from home. None of this is even mentioning the more personal grievances of my private and family life, which have only worsened an already poor financial situation. I've been a nervous wreck; I lose sleep every night one week then sleep through every day the next; I forget to buy groceries and clean my apartment and do the normal healthy things a person should be doing to take care of themselves.
None of this is to ask for sympathy--but I do have to ask for patience. The last time I was in this sort of mess it took such a toll on me that I enlisted in the military to get away from it all, and unfortunately I can't do that a second time. I absolutely love suffering for art, if I'm proud of the work I can create to share, but suffering just to suffer really fucking blows. Please don't give up on me, and I promise once things have normalized I'll be rewarding everyone's patience.