I realized that although it's on my mind, I still haven't said it...
*breaths in*

======So I'm going to break my promise -again-...=======

Remember my "FREE COMMISSIONS" journal? Yeah...
I mentioned in the journal that I will ASK if I could give up since my life was kinda rough at that time, and stated that I will do my best to not let that happen. But as you can see...I'm posting this journal to let you guys know that I want to cancel it...

Here's the thing: Although, my life DID improve at that time, and I even managed to draw the initial sketch for 2 person, but the progress was put on a halt, because college semester begun before I could finish even ONE.

So I thought: Hey, I will just draw during my day-offs in this semester, should work right?
At first, it seemed possible, I even went on and start lining one of them. But then as time goes on, College works (3D Modeling/Animation and Unity projects) became more time consuming, I had no choice but to focus on those, then I would often crash after long weeks of working on those. So that's why the free commissions sees no progress.

Well, that's one of my reasons. It seemed like an useless excuse,and it will definitely make me not trust worthy and irresponsible since it's not the first time this has happened, but I really can't do anything about it, and I will accept it if you think that way, no objections there. Also this is why I never want to do commissions , because I KNOW that things will come up and kill my motivations for basically everything. I know it's horrible to say this, but when that happens, it's a bit assuring that there's not money involved.

Then the college semester ended, I thought I could start catching up these things. But because I haven't drawn a full pic for around 6 months, I need to draw something from the ground up to refresh myself. So I drew that Zieto pic. (The line art for that Maid Uniform pic was done wayyyy back in last year).

It was when I finished the drawing, I realized that : I'm more passionate about drawing my own things than drawing commissions.

>>>Just to be clear, it's not because "I don't like your OC" or "I don't like what you want me to draw". That will never be my reason, ever.<<<<<
(except if you ask me to draw things that would cross my line)

It's because I'm too consumed in my own things...when I think of something really cool in my mind, I instantly want to sketch/draw it. I get too focused on that and often will put other things behind...

Think of it like "I need to get this homework done but I just bought a new game so I obviously want to play that and I would lie if I said I don't want to. ", except in this case homework=free commission and new game=building my own world.

So yeah...that's why I don't really want to open commission/request in the first place (even if my financial situation is getting bad), because I don't really want to "get trapped" in it and don't have time to draw things that I really want to draw...

I'm really sorry.