Alrighty, this is my first ever fanfic review, and the first one is a beast I'll likely be reviewing quite a lot, maybe every chapter. There are two links to this story, one on Fanfiction.net and one on Fimfiction.net, but right now, I'll be looking at the Fimfiction one since it's the "better" one of the two with images and all that. Yes this thing has images.

Reminder, this is not an attack on this writer nor his stories, and I do not want you to go attack him either, if you do, don't hold me responsible for your actions. I may be crude in this, but that's to keep this more enjoyable rather than super proper and bland, because that would be boring, amirite?

Here's the link: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/262213/

Without further ado, let's get on with the story.

Now, if you see the Fimfiction one, there should already be sirens in your head just by reading the story description. The protagonist's name is... Daniel Blaze, a 18-20 year old (assuming), who lost the few people close to his heart, aka his family, and he lives a super difficult life ever since then. Now that should be a warning sign since many Human In Equestria five open up on this fact, or at least imply that, on the main character, and it's been done to death to the point where you instantly think Gary Stu, but for me, nah, I'm pretty sure you can work that into their character.... Sadly this doesn't.

Anyways, actual chapter, let's go.

We open up with the character walking down the streets of his city, and no, not England, and... Oh okay, "They all have something that I lost a long time ago…. happiness." Okay, there's something that raises alarms, but this isn't the worst part so far. Afterwords, he then introduced himself, tells us his name and what he's wearing. Red shirt, black jacket, red and black shoes, red jeans and black fingerless gloves. That right there should tell you his appearance, and just keep in mind, red and black doesnt equal Gary Stu, it's what they do that makes Daniel that. You can also see that he sports a scar from his childhood, and a pendant of his mother. That right there is something to solidify his past and his closeness to his mother, which I do like.

But, as per every trope ever, his mother dies, but not from a car crash, but from cancer, when he was just 10, poor boy. He was then taken in by his grandfather and was taught sword play, MMA, and Karate. Keep this in your mind. His grand dad died 10 years later due to being injected by a poison that's deadly to humans.

Now here's the kicker, the guy has zero friends, only living in the shadows in fucking Florida, helping others in need whenever he can, since his grandfather told him that before he died. Fuck if this was DC comics, this would be Batman number who the fuck knows.

Anyways, after that, he stated that he sees this guy with white hair, purple eyes and an evil smirk looking at Daniel before he vanishes in the crowd. Now this is also some weird dumb trope, but I can let it slide if it's done well, also, evil smirk, how can you say that's evil? Anywho, he now heads home, which used to be his grandfather's, and it's stated that he has no problem paying bills for this place due to payment being low, both with electricity and water too. I dunno much about homes, but I call BS in that.

We then heard about his sword... Oh wait, I MEAN KATANA, OF COURSE! Yea, his grand dad left Daniel Blazing It his Katana, which was made of crystal and some black material. He doesn't know what it's made of, nor does his grandfather, only the great grand dad knew the secrets. Anywho, yea, so far, red and black main character, lives in shadows, has a katana and knows Karate, has everyone in his family dead... Yep, he's hitting the 'generic' and Gary Stu tropes here.

Many people worldwide wanted the blade because apparently it's super fucking expensive and rare, someone even wanted to offer grand dad 3 million bucks for it, but he refused. From what I know, the most expensive blade is a katana that was sold for 7.7 million. Shesh, if that's the case, Daniel owns one of the top 10 most stealable items in the world.

Now we get an image of how he looks http://orig06.deviantart.net/5315/f.....io-d8s4sfg.png Hm, not bad WAIT ARE THOSE RIPPED JEANS MY DUDE?! I'm pretty sure someone should color this sooner or later.

Anywho, he watches some TV and reminisces about his time with his grand dad, going camping and all that, going to show how close his grandfather was to him. And that reminds him of taking walks on the beach with his mommy, also showing how close he hold her in his heart, and so he decides to go there himself. He packs food, water, Iphone, laptop computer, a few reading books, and decided to take his grandfather's weeb sword with him... But I thought you weren't allowed to bring that in public, what happened to that?

Anyways, he takes his walk on the beach with all he has in his bag, eating a granola bar along the way. It's now the night times and he see how edgy and sad this guy is as he looks down and cries a single tear, wondering why he still feels so empty inside. Oh I dunno, maybe it's cuz you seemingly didn't bother to get new friends and such despite all the time you had.

And now... We reach the part where everything starts to go down in this chapter, as 3 familiar faces pop up, Tom, Chuck, and Will. These three were in the same school as Daniel before Daniel got expelled. Why you ask? Well Daniel here was bullied by these guys (Yea, big shocker right there), and they were the reason why Daniel was expelled, and they weren't the only ones who bullied him, everyone fucking else did to. Is everyone so cruel or something in these fanfics or what? Anyways, they bullied him because he was a wimp and that his mom died and they say he cared about her too much, which I don't understand, his mom died when he was 10, of course it would be on his mind a lot, it's his mother, the fact that everyone bullied him is another way the author wants you to feel bad for him, not just his family dying and all. One time, the three bullies, Chuck, Will and IDFC, tried to destroy his mom's pendant, but Dianiel stopped them and beat them up using Karate. But by some miracle, only Daniel was expelled. I have so many problems with this, especially since if everyone bullied Daniel, the teachers would have noticed, and even the principle at some point maybe, and the bullies would have been take care of for a long time now. It makes the teachers sound super incompetent and just shitty. Also, by reading this, it's implied that these three targeted Daniel for who knows how long after. Since that's the case, and with how two of them act, they are sadistic.

Anywho, Daniel was tempted to beat them up, but upholding his father's teachings, he should only use his moves for self defence. And I say to that JUST KICK THEIR ASSES. If they attack for your no reason, all this time you could have beat the shit out of them with your karate skills, which would be at master skill level considering you put well over 10000 hours into them, and that would likely make them stop bullying you if they wanna risk getting hurt again. And if that doesn't work, tell the bloody police about them, wtf is wrong with you? Oh wait, everyone is just bad.

Anyways, Tom proceeds to beat Daniel up, and Daniel just takes it without even fighting back, again, HE KNOWS KARATE AND MMA. Daniel at this point is just acting like almost noone else would. He can defend himself against Tom, who is just some bully who likely doesn't know karate or some crap, so the fact that Daniel is taking it just makes him knowing MMA, Karate and his Grandfather's other teachings absolutely redundant and pointless.

Anyways, Chuck sees the sword and explains that its made of crystal and black rock. Now, I just wanna say, for all that anyone knows, that could be super brittle or something, maybe even worth nothing unless they have skills of a gem analyst or whatever those are called. Besides that, Tom states that he'll forgive Daniel for whatever and take the sword for themselves to sell it. Daniel, finally getting it, attacks the three, taking his sword back and... Just running away from them, pretty much all battered and bloody. The bullies chase him around, eventually leading Daniel to a cliff, essentially cornering him

Now Daniel Burning has 2 choices, in fact, 3, either give them the sword or get beat up. Daniel picks choice 3, drawing his sword and threatening the three, FINALLY doing something that could save his life at this point. But sadly, the bullies, specifically Tom, had a upper edge, taking out a gun.Will, being seemingly the only somewhat sane person, says that Tom was taking it too far, but in Tom's logic, he can because if Daniel has a death wish, he can easily grant it. Remind me again what logic these guys have? Anyways, here's something else that makes my eye twitch, because when the bullet was shot, Daniel dodged it just barely, implying that Daniel has sound speed reflexes and agility, but if that's the case, how was he bullies again? MMA, Karate, Sword Play and now super reflexes, yet he was still beat up and bullied.

Anyways, Tom runs up and fights Daniel Blazilen for the sword, he accidentally let's go and Daniel falls off a cliff to certain doom, only for Daniel to fall into what is implied to be a rainbow portal before he passed out, and that obviously sends him to equestria.

Tom and Will have a fight, Will being pretty pissed that Tom did that, Will stating that even though he disliked Daniel Fire Synonym, he never wanted to kill him, but by Tom's logic, he had it coming, so he could do it, and that's ass backwards logic, one that a stereotypical gangster thug would think, maybe even a sothiopath. Anyways, Chuck breaks up the fight as a police man seemingly heard the gunshot and arrived at the scene, pretty much sending the three bullies to prison...

That was chapter one, and boy what a bloody doosey it was. In summary, Daniel Blaze is a guy who holds his mom and grand dad close to heart, knowing how to be a master fighter, but was bullied and expelled from school even though everyone else should have been, in addition to letting himself be bullied for years now by 3 seemingly insane 20 year olds. This is obviously a chapter to make you feel bad for the protagonist as well as showing other things, but it doesn't hide how generic it actually is, It sorta reminds me of that one anime called Chivalry of a Failed Knight, where the main protagonist is pretty much the target to bullying despite being strong as fuck. I mean you can make things like that good, but keeping this chapter in mind while going through the next chapter... It makes my jaw drop with how badly the power is scaled.

Anyways, hope ya enjoyed this crappy review of mine, I'll be reviewing this fanfic until the most recent chapter, I'll be reviewing each chapter one by one, and if there's one that's too long, I'll be making parts. If you have suggestions to how I can improve on this stuff, thanks, and leave your own thoughts on parts of the chapter too so we can talk about it if you want.

Anywho, I'll be posting the next review either tomorrow or later today, so until then, bye!