i don't know. i'm a huge cry baby, i like to complain about things? when something is bothering me i have to get it off my chest.

what's kind of been bothering me lately is i guess the mood killer i've had happen often?

basically, i guess i should start, every one is busy, everyone has their own life, i can't always expect people to talk all the time, i get that. bunt it kind of hurts when i try to do something, like draw art or talk about things in a conversation that sort of lasts like 10 minutes at most? a month maybe?

it realy kind of hurts my mood when i had motivation to do something for someone, or talk about something that is giving me inspiration to want to work, and then i get dropped? like... this isn't about a single person, hell. if it WAS one person, it wouldn't bother me so much. but it sort of makes me wonder if i'm the reason for when they sort of just stop talking halfway through a conversation and then never get back to me until i just have some other idea months later or something.

i don't like to bother people, and i feel when i talk to them i am bothering them more than enough. so when i guess i get ignored after a while, i kind of....don't want to talk? i don't try to talk, i lose confidence in talking, i sor of get afraid to bother trying to talk anymore because, it's sort of like just out of nowhere without any warning that they have left, wether they are still online or not.

i don't know how much rambling i am doing to try to get this off of my chest so i can feel better. but i guess the short versions is that i sort of lose interest in trying to do things with someone, or for them, if i sort of just can't ever get through a full thought/phase/idea with someone? i mean, why should i keep trying to do something if i'm just left hanging on an idea that never gets and sort of feedback for me.

well, how about anyone who is unfortunate enough to read this journal? are there things that discourage you from trying when it happens?