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The war is over, but its not, it never will be ~self rant~
8 years ago
-This is just a metaphoric rant/ just shouting into the air kind of thing just with all thats going on and has gone on the past several months... this is not aimed at anyone in any shape or form-
It's over, the conflict, violence, anger, trauma, the pain. And that level of anguish and trauma exists in a wake of painful memories that will follow you for the rest of your life. That war is over and that darkness you were in is now just a shadow behind you, a reminder to keep you centered and humble to others and in life.
You clawed your way out of a dark cave that not many make it out of, not many may get that second chance of what they once knew as normal. Moments, many of them at the point where you almost became consumed by it. You've lost friendships over it, gotten into countless fights with loved ones about it. Brought the ones who love you to tears while you were lost in that darkness.
And now here you are about to come out into the light of what would be a normal life, no longer living in a constant fight or flight state of mind, no longer jaded to your family caring for you, or numb to the warmth of someone hugging you and expressing they're concern for you. And now your going back?
Why? The war is over for you, you've been down that road before and learned first hand its a dirty walk in and a dirty walk back. You barely made it out and your willingly going to turn around and going back? There is no safe spot from the horrors that brought you down this path before, not corner you could hide in or any rocks you can hang onto while that same river keeps flowing deeper and further into that darkness. So why? Why do you want too put you and everyone around you through that again? The same pain and anguish is just going to be there waiting for you. You can try to do better but no matter what you will never have a day of rest from it, no way you can step away from it again like you already have. So this is it, I mean this is your no turning back moment right here. So why?
You know why, you knew it from the day you first started to the day you finally realized who you were. Your history, your traits, your habits, all explained to you and laid out before you in the wake of someone you looked up to passing away. A final gift they left you answering every single question you ever had since you got lost in that dark cave. Its who you are, its what you are. And each time you tried to escape it, it has brought you back to it. You've explained it to countless people and you fear that explaining it further is just going to yield the same answers they've given you before.
But you know why your turning back. You understand now more then ever why and you don't need any explanation from anyone who doesn't. Your family, your loved ones, the few who do get it may not fully understand it. But its enough for them to support you. You may not make it back out if you go back in, it may be the end of you at one point. But you know as well as I do that there really is no other option here.
So lets go, like so many who have walked down that path lets go back and maybe go even further. Let us stand by the every brother and sister who has even fallen this far and has gotten back up to do the same. Let us be guiding voices to those who are still lost or may become lost. Let us rally together and remember why we came down this dark path in the beginning and march forward. For we are not alone down this lonely path. And it's up to each one of us to make a difference not in someone else's who had called for help. But to make a difference for the once who can not call for help, who were in the same part of that path you were. We are all in this together, so lets all make sure we get out of it and come home the same way.
It's over, the conflict, violence, anger, trauma, the pain. And that level of anguish and trauma exists in a wake of painful memories that will follow you for the rest of your life. That war is over and that darkness you were in is now just a shadow behind you, a reminder to keep you centered and humble to others and in life.
You clawed your way out of a dark cave that not many make it out of, not many may get that second chance of what they once knew as normal. Moments, many of them at the point where you almost became consumed by it. You've lost friendships over it, gotten into countless fights with loved ones about it. Brought the ones who love you to tears while you were lost in that darkness.
And now here you are about to come out into the light of what would be a normal life, no longer living in a constant fight or flight state of mind, no longer jaded to your family caring for you, or numb to the warmth of someone hugging you and expressing they're concern for you. And now your going back?
Why? The war is over for you, you've been down that road before and learned first hand its a dirty walk in and a dirty walk back. You barely made it out and your willingly going to turn around and going back? There is no safe spot from the horrors that brought you down this path before, not corner you could hide in or any rocks you can hang onto while that same river keeps flowing deeper and further into that darkness. So why? Why do you want too put you and everyone around you through that again? The same pain and anguish is just going to be there waiting for you. You can try to do better but no matter what you will never have a day of rest from it, no way you can step away from it again like you already have. So this is it, I mean this is your no turning back moment right here. So why?
You know why, you knew it from the day you first started to the day you finally realized who you were. Your history, your traits, your habits, all explained to you and laid out before you in the wake of someone you looked up to passing away. A final gift they left you answering every single question you ever had since you got lost in that dark cave. Its who you are, its what you are. And each time you tried to escape it, it has brought you back to it. You've explained it to countless people and you fear that explaining it further is just going to yield the same answers they've given you before.
But you know why your turning back. You understand now more then ever why and you don't need any explanation from anyone who doesn't. Your family, your loved ones, the few who do get it may not fully understand it. But its enough for them to support you. You may not make it back out if you go back in, it may be the end of you at one point. But you know as well as I do that there really is no other option here.
So lets go, like so many who have walked down that path lets go back and maybe go even further. Let us stand by the every brother and sister who has even fallen this far and has gotten back up to do the same. Let us be guiding voices to those who are still lost or may become lost. Let us rally together and remember why we came down this dark path in the beginning and march forward. For we are not alone down this lonely path. And it's up to each one of us to make a difference not in someone else's who had called for help. But to make a difference for the once who can not call for help, who were in the same part of that path you were. We are all in this together, so lets all make sure we get out of it and come home the same way.
