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So I got pulled over last night.... twice....
16 years ago
General
Here I am, minding my own business last night, driving home.
~BWOOP BWOOP!~ Comes from behind, as the familar red and blue lights flash.
"Ah crap", I say to myself, "I KNEW I should of renewed my registration earlier"
I pull over, the cop walks up.
"Do you know how furry you were going sir?"... okey he didnt really say that...
"You know why I pulled you over?", asks the copper
"I hope to god its my registration", says I.
"Yuuuup! Gimmie your license"
So I gave him my drivers license, and contemplated a few things as he walked back to his crown victoria. Should I show him my boobies, like in family guy? Should I tell him about the sex toy I have under my seat? Before I had to a chance to finish my internal montage of hilarious potential outcomes....
"Do you have anything in the car I should know about?", says Detective Benson, as he re-appears outside my window.
"I hope not!", I reply, a split second later realizing, I should of said something else... "...er No, i don't"
He flashes his flashlight inside of my messy car, scanning over my morphine needles, open beer cans and bound/gagged hooker pleading for rescue. At least that what I remember having at the car at the time... I could be a bit off in my recollection.
"ookeeey, Im gonna let you off with a warning, here is a 'fixit' ticket", said Mr PoPo
So I drive off, heading back to home, about 15 minutes later.
"BWOOOP BWOOP!"
"OH DEAR GOD, YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME"... oh this is funny... Im listening to streaming radio right now (shoutcast)... and the "bad boys" theme from "cops" just came on... I kid you not... where was I? oh yeah...
"OH DEAR GOD YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME", I shout. The familiar red/blues are behind me again, diffrent city, different cop.
He comes up to my window, all like "GRRR I AM SO GONNA GET MY TICKET QUOTA TODAY", as he flashes his flashlight in my face.
"LICENSE AND...", I whip out my pretty yellow carbon copy of my previous ticket and wiggle it in his face, with a shit-eating grin... "Not today officer"
He scans it over briefly, and in his rage walks up to my front left headlight and BASHES IT OUT! ... or was that the scene from that Porkys movie? I forget.
Anyway, he screeches off, resuming his quest for minorities to pull over and I eventually make it home.
The lesson here? Be sure to drive fast enough that the cops cant read your expired plates.
~BWOOP BWOOP!~ Comes from behind, as the familar red and blue lights flash.
"Ah crap", I say to myself, "I KNEW I should of renewed my registration earlier"
I pull over, the cop walks up.
"Do you know how furry you were going sir?"... okey he didnt really say that...
"You know why I pulled you over?", asks the copper
"I hope to god its my registration", says I.
"Yuuuup! Gimmie your license"
So I gave him my drivers license, and contemplated a few things as he walked back to his crown victoria. Should I show him my boobies, like in family guy? Should I tell him about the sex toy I have under my seat? Before I had to a chance to finish my internal montage of hilarious potential outcomes....
"Do you have anything in the car I should know about?", says Detective Benson, as he re-appears outside my window.
"I hope not!", I reply, a split second later realizing, I should of said something else... "...er No, i don't"
He flashes his flashlight inside of my messy car, scanning over my morphine needles, open beer cans and bound/gagged hooker pleading for rescue. At least that what I remember having at the car at the time... I could be a bit off in my recollection.
"ookeeey, Im gonna let you off with a warning, here is a 'fixit' ticket", said Mr PoPo
So I drive off, heading back to home, about 15 minutes later.
"BWOOOP BWOOP!"
"OH DEAR GOD, YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME"... oh this is funny... Im listening to streaming radio right now (shoutcast)... and the "bad boys" theme from "cops" just came on... I kid you not... where was I? oh yeah...
"OH DEAR GOD YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME", I shout. The familiar red/blues are behind me again, diffrent city, different cop.
He comes up to my window, all like "GRRR I AM SO GONNA GET MY TICKET QUOTA TODAY", as he flashes his flashlight in my face.
"LICENSE AND...", I whip out my pretty yellow carbon copy of my previous ticket and wiggle it in his face, with a shit-eating grin... "Not today officer"
He scans it over briefly, and in his rage walks up to my front left headlight and BASHES IT OUT! ... or was that the scene from that Porkys movie? I forget.
Anyway, he screeches off, resuming his quest for minorities to pull over and I eventually make it home.
The lesson here? Be sure to drive fast enough that the cops cant read your expired plates.
but i out beet you by 1! 3 times in 1 night for a broken headlight