Eurofurence 23

Sorry for taking so long!

Just before going to the convention I bought myself a new smartphone through a 2 year subscription to pay off the phone. A Galaxy J5 (2017 edition) as it has a very long battery life which was something I had issues with last convention with my old Galaxy S plus.

First off this was the first time I traveled to Berlin by airplane. I wanted to tackle my phobia for flying that build up through my life from following all the horrible airplane crash reports. That and the train ride I took the last 2 years is really long and uncomfortably hot because the international train for some reason lacks proper air conditioning. The flight takes slightly less than a hour so I felt a bit safer because of that. It will hopefully prepare me for longer flights like a flying to Japan that I want to do some day.

This year I went to the same hotel like last year a short trip with public transport away from the convention. Once I finally got there I was apparently to early at 11:00 because the boot with all the convention badges was only going to open at 12:00. That did mean that I didn't have to wait very long to get my convention badge.
This year I wasn't very blown away like I was the first time but I was still happy I could meet a couple of friends in person again. I went to the artist lounge and later met up with and , went to the opening ceremony and went to a panel named Fast Furry Friends (which I went to last year as well). Did manage to find some ppl that seemed a bit more fun to chat with, shared contact but I kinda have trouble staying in contact because I have a lot of things on mind.

I mostly stayed at the artist lounge when I could but the first 3 days I did follow a couple of panels so I ended up running back and forth a lot and not getting much drawing done at all. In between I was lucky to meet along with and . I follow Vader-san's streams a lot though less lately partly because he streams less often too now. In previous years I did meet up with him but that was at the Dealers Den (place where artists can sell prints and other merch + doing any types of commissions) where it's a bit busy and I don't feel to comfortable taking up too much time. First time I heard him talk about his first time when he just went as attendee like I go every year. About how it's normal that you end up alone a lot of the time as people tend to move on to meet other friends. It's something that happens a lot to me where I hope to be with someone but end up alone most of the time which is pretty frustrating but I guess I'm not supposed to expect otherwise.
I luckily did see RedSilver and Furry pretty often, did meet up with a friend I made last year and ended up chatting with other convention goers at the artist lounge (big room where you can draw at tables) and at the McDonald's nearby.
Apparently the McDonald's managed to sell out twice during the convention. I guess that's not odd if you consider there's over 2800 convention goers and the McDonalds being the closest cheap option for a evening meal (restaurants in the hotel are super pricey).
I did do a trade (I think, I guess it's a gift now?) with which took me the entire convention time to draw which shows me that I'm not ready yet for drawing hyper muscle art. I also did a trade with the multi-talented and very kind Japanese artist who I follow on Twitter for a while now. Besides art he's also in a fursuiting band that plays after anime songs. I mostly saw his friend fursuiting at the dance floor at the evening to night dance parties that are around every day.

I also went to 's panels who had the best panels I've ever followed at the convention. There was a lot he talked about and it mostly went about the psychology behind furry art, why we draw it but also what frustrations might come. He's the most open person I know as he mentioned that he is happy that he has no dark secrets that he hasn't talked about with someone. As result it was easy for me to also open up to him which made me really happy. He did say that he is really busy outside of the convention so unless I have something big about I want to tackle about my life I won;t bother him. Still during the convention he actually recognized and greeted me outside of his panels where I talked a bit more about my troubled past and a bit about difference in culture like how slightly more than half of Netherlands is atheist and how that's not been that way until 30-40 years ago.

I also met Fishcrow https://fishcrow.tumblr.com/ who only showed up on the 3rd day after most panels were over but they were too afraid to get to the convention first, they panicked, I panicked, it wasn't nice. The 4th day we finally met and uh, apparently I'm not the only one that thought that Fishcrow was a guy because I had absolutely no idea what she looked like. So beyond the awkwardness we went to some panel about sculpting, she went to get a cheeseburger for lunch, I drew a Fishcrow with a cheeseburger for her and we ended up at a table at the artist lounge where everyone ordered food together that one person organized. It's also where I met .

For the rest of it, I wasn't too interested in the art show (art auction) and the Dealers Den as I already kept my spending money to a minimum as I rather buy more functional things like a new PC... hopefully.
Oh ye besides me, , Furryicon: there was Gideon at the Dealers Den and I also met at the artist lounge but not any other hyper furry artists that I know of. I hope I can meet more hyper artists some day or just hyper furs in general, need more at Eurofurence. Let's show that hyper art is actually a thing and not the same thing as macro as most ppl there thought when I said hyper. Sure macro goes well with hyper but hyper can also stand on it's own I say!


Back home I've been lazying off for a while now, didn;t catch much sleep during the convention and I haven't planned what to do through the remainder of my vacation. The best thing I can do now is get back to the library and practice drawing as well as preparing for my study as the first class of the minor I didn't manage to finish is also the most difficult one. It's classes I followed in full but failed anyway which is frustrating to say the least

Kuroma went on a hiatus
I'm not sure how many know but is one of my top favorite artists and top inspirational artist. He and are the biggest reason why I draw hyper muscle furry art in the first place. Their doujinshi filled me with ideas and the desire to work my towards a skill level like theirs. Something that sadly is still far out of reach for me. Still even new separate pieces done by Kuroma made me really happy. I sort of saw him as a art god, though that's a bit silly I guess.
Lately I noticed Kuroma was getting upset over his own style and also about the lack of Japanese followers. He did know that he has a lot of English followers, but the language barrier is a bit troublesome for him. My guess is that he was hoping for more Japanese followers but apparently hyper muscle kemono art isn't too popular in Japan, or so he says.
So yesterday he tweeted that it was time to retire from kemono/furry art.
I myself am still in denial about this as I can't imagine not seeing Kuroma come up with new pieces. Maybe it's just a hiatus, maybe he'll be back in a couple of months. Roughly the time it takes for me to draw something I guess.
I've already seen a couple of hyper artist leave, one really good Japanese hyper artist . I don't want Kuroma to go too. I can understand that he wants to take a break, maybe he has the same issues like me, lacking a good social life, maybe it's a good time to work on that.
I just can't understand that a artist at his level would want to stop. I just don't.
Who am I supposed to look up to than? Kitora doesn't draw all that often so less motivation from there.
Kuroma was even going to do his Kemobuilder event again which is what motivated me to draw that big buff Lucario. I was looking forward to that

I already have so many things I failed at in life, I'm 27 and I still can't draw anatomically correct figures. Already lost both my grandfathers before I could succeed at that and now my biggest inspiration decides to stop drawing completely. I wanted to do work on a comic for one of his doujinshi but will that even be possible now? Feels like I failed my favorite artist too now.

On the other hand I didn't want to be reliant on referencing from his style and instead learn how to properly practice figure drawing myself. If he does end up returning in idk, 2 years maybe? Than I better be actually good at drawing than, not like my non-existent skills now.
Still he is my greatest inspiration and I still don't feel like he could've actually stopped.