I know one of my biggest weaknesses has been my inconsistent personality. I have those shifts where I do come off as a different person. Trying to read between the lines about someone's actions or something around me easily gets confused with false assumptions and ignorance. I love to think I'm able to determine the outcome before its even at the halfway mark, and while I have been right in the past, allot of those times I was only right, because I put myself in that position. I easily get caught up in the details that don't matter as much.

There's some people that won't talk to me anymore, some of them mean allot more to me than I ever will to them. As much as that stings, that's just the way the time flows. My friends and loved ones keep saying, "you don't have to explain yourself to anyone, we got you." And yeah, I get that. But hey, I used to also spend weeks alone, longing for more, attention. Hungry for a connection, so I fantasize and enhance the infatuation. I even let that spin around me and take me to new parralells to the typical attention whore I once tried so hard not to be.

Gimmicks aside, curtains closed and the acting casted away for the time being. I know I'm not the greatest guy, Im probably not even a good guy to you. The drama I caused to you or any immaturities was childish from my self destrictive tendencies. I know I've fucked up. I've probably pushed you out, sexualized you, assume you were manipulative while I was also involved with as well. Where I assumed you were, but ended up being. I understand its a two way street. And on my part, I am accountable for whatever action, or reaction I had done of the circumstance. No excuses, I thought I was better than that.

It sucks that it took allot of hard lessons learned to truly be able to realize that (especially with the end of last year, and all of this year.) But, I'm not going to go away that easily. I still got a destiny to unfold before me. And while I'll probably never be able to make right for some, I'll do my best to never do the other some wrong.

Thanks for reading.