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on my Birf-day
8 years ago
So, this is the 10th time I'm turning 25. Am I any wiser than what I was? Regrettably yes. I say regrettably because as a Horn-bearer, I've already been old for a long time and I would have figured I could have had "my shit" together by then but even now, still have a lot of things and a lot of efforts in the works to improve my life and those around me.
My gift to those that have yet to experience their 10th 25th, I say to you that while residing in the neutral zone may seem a little less flavorful, it does provide for a multi-dimensional perspective in life. A few resounding things have come into view over the last decade and a few key words stick with me that I'd like to reflect on.
Hate: A word that I was brought up to avoid, Hate was taught to me to be as crass as a swearword and with the strongest level of malevolence. As such, when I hear the word, I can't help but cringe because it is curious to me what sort of fire can be brought up in someone's heart to warrant such an expression? Obviously there is a lot of hate in the world today. It seems like for every benefit and grace that our technology and ever shrinking world becomes that it only magnifies the negative along side it. While I may dislike certain things, certain individuals and certain actions; I find it very difficult to "hate." Now don't get me wrong, I'm not some fun-loving, peace-resolves-everything movement individual or anything. If someone willfully brings harms to others, you can bet they're on my radar for retribution. What I'm getting at is: I think people are too quick to hate and too quick to act. Too quick to force resolution and too quick to put the line in the sand. Don't get me wrong, be quick to judge someone; but don't be so quick to exact that judgement. I've been wrong on my judgement before and I'm always glad that I've kept that to myself until it was either confirmed or disproven; it has made my life a much more open book and made me much more open to experiences and people in general.
Hypocrisy: I am in no way, shape or form: immune to hypocrisy. I'm sure even within the short time that I've taken to write this journal, I have already stated or provided a few hypocritical examples even unto myself. What I will say however is just like my judgement, I do my best to reserve my criticisms and my thoughts until I am resolute in my dedication to the value on which they stand. All too often I see those that preach about equality and peace and then immediately double around and criticize and beat up others for having any alternative acts or expressions that differ from their own. While I may agree that what those alternative actions may stand for may be in opposition to my own, if I already stated that I want everything possible to be open and equal, I'm not going to double around and say "except for these instances." Again, Hypocrisy. But again as a Horn-bearer, I try to always see from multiple angles; not just that which I initially perceive.
Astrology: To those naysayers that do not believe in Astrology, this is for you as well as those that believe. Astrology to me began as my proverbial Horn-bearer obsession with calculation and equations. By gathering knowledge on all the signs and having an in-depth perspective on even the most random people I could encounter: gave me comfort. The more I researched the more complex it got; which of course makes sense as mortal beings cannot be reduced to a simple 12-point equation. What I TRULY took away from all of my research in Astrology was that I learned about everyone's merits but more importantly everyone's flaws. Why is this important? Because as most Capricorns may take actions from others personally, I learned to let it all go. Capricorns are very easy to let go of toxicity and that still holds true for me today; but I learned more importantly that I shouldn't take it personally. I don't begrudge my life-time child hood friend from turning into a P.C. Nazi, because his personality changed almost ever 5 years and turns out that is a NATURAL aspect to his sign. So rather than being hateful of him cutting me off for refusing to adhere to every pronoun in every language on the planet, I just accepted that it was time to move on and I wished him the best in his life's endeavors despite his hateful words. So the short lesson from Astrology is: Learn why people suck and accept that it isn't necessarily just being directed at you.
Ego: lastly, my favorite and a principal design to my sona as well as an entire race for the Devils, Ego. I've designed an entire race within my setting after the Capricorn and obviously I wear the badge of Capricorn very proudly as does any and all others that I meet that have even a modicum acquisition of Astrological knowledge. Ego swings both ways though; while I wouldn't claim myself to be "egotistical" or "arrogant" I can sometimes rub people the wrong way when I express confidence and I can often be misinterpreted. To those so quick to judge and then ACT on their judgement; see above. For me, 1st impressions aren't necessarily the fault of the individual but instead the fault of the observer. One that I've encountered lately is an Ego that revolves around victimization. If I'm not in a particularly chatty mood, my Roommate will ask me if it's something he did that I'm upset? To me that is ALSO a registration of Ego. Someone thinks that if someone is upset then they must be upset with them. It may not be an Ego that anyone else will criticize but if you're looking from a neutral position you will understand that it can be just as toxic. (And yes I have had this discussion with my room mate so this is not me talking behind his back, it's a learning experience).
I would like to disclose that none of the information above is reflected upon anyone that would ever have access to reading this material personally. If you feel like this may be a reflection or an attack upon you; then as one that is speaking of this logically perhaps it is not me you should direct your upset towards but perhaps you should look within yourself as an opportunity for change and to grow. Not that I reserve change for New Years, but some see the New Years Resolution approach as a renewed level of encouragement.
Happy New Year Everyone, Let's enjoy another year filled with Hate, Hypocrisy, Astrology and Ego and hope that perhaps we can at least do our best to move in better directions towards bettering ourselves and those around us.
My gift to those that have yet to experience their 10th 25th, I say to you that while residing in the neutral zone may seem a little less flavorful, it does provide for a multi-dimensional perspective in life. A few resounding things have come into view over the last decade and a few key words stick with me that I'd like to reflect on.
Hate: A word that I was brought up to avoid, Hate was taught to me to be as crass as a swearword and with the strongest level of malevolence. As such, when I hear the word, I can't help but cringe because it is curious to me what sort of fire can be brought up in someone's heart to warrant such an expression? Obviously there is a lot of hate in the world today. It seems like for every benefit and grace that our technology and ever shrinking world becomes that it only magnifies the negative along side it. While I may dislike certain things, certain individuals and certain actions; I find it very difficult to "hate." Now don't get me wrong, I'm not some fun-loving, peace-resolves-everything movement individual or anything. If someone willfully brings harms to others, you can bet they're on my radar for retribution. What I'm getting at is: I think people are too quick to hate and too quick to act. Too quick to force resolution and too quick to put the line in the sand. Don't get me wrong, be quick to judge someone; but don't be so quick to exact that judgement. I've been wrong on my judgement before and I'm always glad that I've kept that to myself until it was either confirmed or disproven; it has made my life a much more open book and made me much more open to experiences and people in general.
Hypocrisy: I am in no way, shape or form: immune to hypocrisy. I'm sure even within the short time that I've taken to write this journal, I have already stated or provided a few hypocritical examples even unto myself. What I will say however is just like my judgement, I do my best to reserve my criticisms and my thoughts until I am resolute in my dedication to the value on which they stand. All too often I see those that preach about equality and peace and then immediately double around and criticize and beat up others for having any alternative acts or expressions that differ from their own. While I may agree that what those alternative actions may stand for may be in opposition to my own, if I already stated that I want everything possible to be open and equal, I'm not going to double around and say "except for these instances." Again, Hypocrisy. But again as a Horn-bearer, I try to always see from multiple angles; not just that which I initially perceive.
Astrology: To those naysayers that do not believe in Astrology, this is for you as well as those that believe. Astrology to me began as my proverbial Horn-bearer obsession with calculation and equations. By gathering knowledge on all the signs and having an in-depth perspective on even the most random people I could encounter: gave me comfort. The more I researched the more complex it got; which of course makes sense as mortal beings cannot be reduced to a simple 12-point equation. What I TRULY took away from all of my research in Astrology was that I learned about everyone's merits but more importantly everyone's flaws. Why is this important? Because as most Capricorns may take actions from others personally, I learned to let it all go. Capricorns are very easy to let go of toxicity and that still holds true for me today; but I learned more importantly that I shouldn't take it personally. I don't begrudge my life-time child hood friend from turning into a P.C. Nazi, because his personality changed almost ever 5 years and turns out that is a NATURAL aspect to his sign. So rather than being hateful of him cutting me off for refusing to adhere to every pronoun in every language on the planet, I just accepted that it was time to move on and I wished him the best in his life's endeavors despite his hateful words. So the short lesson from Astrology is: Learn why people suck and accept that it isn't necessarily just being directed at you.
Ego: lastly, my favorite and a principal design to my sona as well as an entire race for the Devils, Ego. I've designed an entire race within my setting after the Capricorn and obviously I wear the badge of Capricorn very proudly as does any and all others that I meet that have even a modicum acquisition of Astrological knowledge. Ego swings both ways though; while I wouldn't claim myself to be "egotistical" or "arrogant" I can sometimes rub people the wrong way when I express confidence and I can often be misinterpreted. To those so quick to judge and then ACT on their judgement; see above. For me, 1st impressions aren't necessarily the fault of the individual but instead the fault of the observer. One that I've encountered lately is an Ego that revolves around victimization. If I'm not in a particularly chatty mood, my Roommate will ask me if it's something he did that I'm upset? To me that is ALSO a registration of Ego. Someone thinks that if someone is upset then they must be upset with them. It may not be an Ego that anyone else will criticize but if you're looking from a neutral position you will understand that it can be just as toxic. (And yes I have had this discussion with my room mate so this is not me talking behind his back, it's a learning experience).
I would like to disclose that none of the information above is reflected upon anyone that would ever have access to reading this material personally. If you feel like this may be a reflection or an attack upon you; then as one that is speaking of this logically perhaps it is not me you should direct your upset towards but perhaps you should look within yourself as an opportunity for change and to grow. Not that I reserve change for New Years, but some see the New Years Resolution approach as a renewed level of encouragement.
Happy New Year Everyone, Let's enjoy another year filled with Hate, Hypocrisy, Astrology and Ego and hope that perhaps we can at least do our best to move in better directions towards bettering ourselves and those around us.
It may be delayed but I’d love to draw you another gift. As it’s been a while.
I like your perspective on things, thank you for sharing your insight.