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Why cant i draw anymore?
8 years ago
General
fuck my doctors fuck my life, and fuck any liberty to saying its not that bad that i cant draw anymore, or at the very least be able to do it without being in pain. a few years ago i was diagnosed with scoliosis, 75 degree curvature in my spine, oh joy almighty, a reason for people to call me Quasimoto. so yes another year goes by and i need surgery, all fine and good, add a literal foot to my height, finally get braces off and embrace life again. well life turns around and fucks you harder than your first time with a daddy bear cause they fucked me over big time, aside from the fact that i would be in recovery and rehab for months, they fucked up and drilled a screw through my vertebrae shutting off my neve system to the left half of my body. now im unconcsious and wake up to this cant move my arm and legs but righty hand still good, so excuse me while im paralyzed but let me try adjusting to the fact they tell me they need to repeat the fucking thing and yes it was painful as hell, three days i couldnt feel my body and then after the change of surgery it fixed it, but damage cant me undone what they did, i lost my ability to hold a pen properly and ended up having to use a computer at school to take notes with, using a stylus was hurting my hand i finally went and got checked out after 3 years post rehab to find out i lost all feeling and sensation in my left hand leading to the doctor teelling to stop drawing or ill hurt myself more. i was devastated as i used to draw a shit ton more when i was younger, but things are a distant memory, i converted to writing cause it was easier on me but the feeling of making something insight of different colors build and even feelings was amazing from landscapes to human beings, i did it all. it was 6 years since i drew and the first thing i made was a sketch of james from wolf guy, that hurt like hell but kept going little by little then came nate, whom i made w few weeks ago and redrew yesterday. although it felt good, the pain was excruciating so i can tell if my doctor is right for me to stop if im near passing out from pain or if i should try getting used to it
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/26322992/
Keep on going!
A few years ago, I had developed Hyperthyoidism. Thanks to doctors I was talked into having my thyroid killed off by Radioactive Idoine Treatment, cause I was told by many of them that was pretty much the only other option other then to risk killing my liver with Hyperthyroid meds. The doctor told me if they killed off my thyroid, the meds I would have to take would have pretty much little to no side effects and would be better then to stay Hyperthyroid, since Hyperthyroidsim puts alot of pressure on your heart over time. So I allowed them to kill off my thyroid and put me on the synthetic thyroid meds once my thyroid levels dropped to nothing.
Soon my body hated the synthetic meds, started having crazy joint pain, and chest pain to the point I couldn't breath and felt I was being choked and had to go to the ER twice. The doctors at the ER couldn't find out what was causing it, and I went home and researched it myself. My doctor had given me too much of a high dose, when he should of started lower. Then it got to the point the thyroid doctor wasn't keeping up with my blood work and caused my vitamin D levels to get so bad it caused irreversible damage to my teeth due to the body not being able to get calicum to the bones. Hypothryoid people have trouble getting normal amounts of certian vitamins and minerals but of course he didn't go over that with me. It just went on from there.
Anyways the point of the story is, after researching more, they probably didn't even have to kill my thyroid off. There was another option for me to just change my diet completely and that could of probably helped my thyroid get back to normal on its own without killing it off completely, but of course they don't want to tell you that cause they want your money. Most of them don't care what they do to you as long as they can milk that money from it. And it's just so fucking disgusting. UGH!!!!
Anyways, I'm sorry you had to go through all of that with them and now left you like this. All you can do is continue to pull through and try your best. If your hand really can't handle drawing, then prehaps it is better to not push it more to the point it will damage it, but if there is a way you can do it, like maybe finding a different way to hold your pencil so it doesn't apply too much pressure on the hand/joints, that could be a possibilty. Otherwise...yeah writing, etc might be the only other way to get your expression out in replacement for art. :(
Hopefully something will work for ya, but until then just hang in there.