Hey there all!

I've finally got some time to sit back and write my wrap-up journal for Confurgence 2018! What a con! Let me see if I can get through it all in some sort of reasonable order.

Firstly, I wanted to thank the organisers of the con. I'm aware of some hiccups during the planning process, and during the con itself, but in all the whole thing ran smoothly, which was fantastic. Also big thanks to all the volunteers (particularly the lady who ensured I didn't take out half the fursuiting photo like a big fuzzy bowling ball!) for making this happen. Actually making it happen, not just helping out. Making sure the con actually went ahead at all.

Now, to Sharn. She's grown a lot since FurDU last year, and I could feel it. I knew others could see it. There's still a little ways to go with her, but she's starting to come into her own. Part of the problem is my own endurance, and I learned at this con to pace myself a little, which helped immensely. I'm sure the addition of a cooling vest will only help more. But Sharn really started to see the light this con! There were a few people coming over asking specifically for photos, even though I know that I'm still a relatively unknown fur, and Sharn's anything but popular! I feel like one of the big things that helped was actually her new accessories. I'd always lamented the fact that Sharn faded against the background of other brightly coloured suits, and that she wouldn't have much to stand out. I thought that props would rectify that, but as it turns out, the bigger things that helped were a spiffing new bandana, and an amazing fursuit bow! She wears her bow now constantly, and I'm genuinely considering just...not taking it off. Incorporating it into her new reference. It's...become a part of her so quickly that it seems natural to just leave it. That little pop of colour is all she needed!

My confidence and emotions during the con were stellar. At FurDU last year, I ended up a mess; in tears at every turn, doubting myself left, right and centre, the list went on. At CFG, it was different. My moods were a lot more stable. They still ranged between ecstatic and relaxed/chilled, but none of the truly upset/fearful moods I'd had in the past. I feel like a few things affected that, but at the moment I'm focusing on my confidence levels. I've never been a very confident person, and exuding the kind of confidence that a fursuit demands is taxing. But I think that, for most of the time anyhow, I managed it! I sang, I danced, I almost died during the fursuit walk, I interacted with people! I could hardly believe myself. I felt comfortable being the performer, the centre of attention. I'd never felt that before. At one point before getting Sharn, after she'd been paid for but before she'd been made, I was completely ready to give up my spot and my money, because I thought it would never work. I'm unbelievably glad I was wrong.

Now, of course that last paragraph would not have been possible without the amazing people who helped me along my journey. I have a paragraph for all of you, but this is a wrap-up journal and not an essay, so I will leave it to you to recount in detail the memories which have helped shape my life and my place within the furry community. Particularly now there's a lot more of you to get through! So in brief, I would like to thank:

HoneyNuggets for being so welcoming at your table, and catching up (Which we don't do enough!)
Sevren2112 for allowing me to finally put a face to the name! It was good fun talking to you.
Kaikirith for catching up, for putting up with me when I start destroying your display, and for allowing Sibeor to now smell like a pineapple!
Wanderer1708 for meeting you! We weren't close before, but turns out you're just a big sweetheart who's a little too easy to break! I hope we catch up in future!
AussieLuvtail for the macro shoot (Sharn gon get BIIIIIIG), for snep snuggles and for being an awesome guy to finally meet properly, not just “Oh hey” at a con!
Fahleir and Lakota-Fox for agreeing to put up with my invasion of Adelaide sometime in the future! You guys are fantastic and I'll be happy to raid with you when the time comes. :D
Krolm for being the braid brigade and giving everybody fantastic new do's. We're gonna be hairdressers someday.
Sibeor and Bonnie-Las for heading out all the way to Australia! For being honorary Australians (Even liking vegemite, Sibby!) and hanging out with as much of Digitalis as I've ever seen.
Toxi for staying with us! As I'm writing this I can hear movement upstairs, haha. The first night was fantastic, I look forward to this week!
Tanrowolf for being awesome, as always, for spending entirely too much money, as always, and for eating copious amounts of bacon, as always. Go team monochrome!
Silvixen for being an upstanding friend, an incredibly strong presence, a fantastic Guest of Honour and an all-around nice person. But you knew that. <3

And finally, last but not least, I want to thank Wolfsiege. My loving partner of four years now, he dedicates this time to ensuring I stay happy and healthy throughout the con. He's only halfway a furry, but he's a good friend to everyone now, and without him I definitely wouldn't have had half the fun I did. I love you, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for everything. <3

Alright! Now, to wrap-up, and similarly to my last journal, I'm gonna tell a story. It relates to what Nathan (our new co-chairperson!) mentioned during the closing ceremony. That as much as we have furs in our fandom who are lifers, who have a deep-seated love for the community, we also have new furs. New blood coming in. And perhaps they're younger than us, and perhaps less experienced, but I was about their age when they started, and I certainly didn't have the luxury of a family-friendly convention as an option. The face of the furry fandom is changing, certainly, but it still revolves around the love that all members, young and old, share. It won't end up any different to what it is now. Just bigger. :D

I was very hyped for the Fur-e-oke that was set to happen on Saturday night. So I snuck out of “Tonight with Cynwolfe” and headed over to the Sanctuary room, where it was supposed to be taking place. I opened the door to find three confused kids there. Confused myself, we eventually worked out that whatever event was going to happen here just wasn't happening, and decided as a joke to run our own panel. I sat down and introduced myself for fun, and the others did the same, but when I started talking about Sharn and who she was the others clicked. “You're the big grey suit!” they said with glee.
I spoke with them for around forty-five minutes about the fandom in general and about their characters. I gave them a brief run-down of Sharn, the grey wolf who's been a part of my life for ten years now (TEN YEARS!) and about the process of commissioning art, getting a suit, etc. They then eagerly told me about their characters! And what characters they had! One had a green fox with an edgy backstory (which he even called himself out on!), one had a few characters and delighted at the fact that yes, you can have more than one! The last girl was the most interesting. She was eleven, had a few characters, but didn't connect with any. I explained that the best way to start was to find an animal she associated with, and rattled of a few of my babs (Hotaru the Honduran Bat, Honey the Applecat, my Unikitties, my Gatox) to explain that it didn't necessarily need to be a popular species. She then surprised me by launching into a detailed description of her own unique species! From what I gathered, it was based on a Cornish Rex, but they were aquatic, had several unique features and a lot of backstory! I was astounded. “So...why don't you make one of those your fursona? You can do that if you like!” She seemed almost concerned that she'd have an unusual fursona, so I explained that your fursona is an expression of yourself! Doesn't matter what it is, what matters is that it's important to you.
They also spoke about the fact that they didn't know whether they were “true” furries, because they didn't have fursuits. I of course corrected them, “How many people out of suit did you see? Are they not also furries?” because if you're here and you wanna be, you're a furry. Heck, you can come out and say it, and there you are. That's all you need to do. They liked this very much.
At that point, their mothers arrived. I invited them in, explaining that I was talking about furries and about the fandom as a whole, and they hesitantly stepped in. The next few minutes was so enlightening, these ladies who were there supporting their children as they explored this new facet of themselves. All the mothers seemed a little apprehensive, but supportive of their children, and I explained that, like anything, monitoring a child's exposure to the fandom is important, but so is letting their creativity go. One of the mothers eagerly informed me that her children were also good artists, and showed me one of the young furries' badges as an example. She was right. There's such good young talent here. And the girl was forteen! Think of where she'll be in ten years!

It was a truly enlightening experience, and the fact that I could pass on just a little of what I knew, as much of it as I could in forty-five minutes...well, I hope I helped them. If I allowed them to feel comfortable, secure, welcome in this fandom just a little bit, I've done my job. Because that's why we ought to do it. Why we ought to attend conventions like this. To hang out, to buy from the den, to eat too much maccas, certainly! But to also show people. To show people that they're welcome, that they can feel secure here. That the furry fandom can thrive, and grow, and to pass on as much knowledge as we are able in order to perpetuate ourselves. That's as much of a family as I can think of, and I've found it. And all of you have found it. You're all a part of it, and for that I am unendingly grateful. I love each and every one of you, and what you bring to the fandom. Let it never end, let it continue to grow. And let us better each other with our knowledge, our skills. Our love.
I love you, guys. I'll see you all again soon.