So...I’ll get to the point. My father has been in the hospital since Sunday. For several weeks he had been complaining about not being able to use the restroom, till he was begrudgingly yielded to our constant nagging for him to go to a doctor. And when he did go he was almost immediately admitted to the hospital, to which they removed almost two liters of fluid from his stomach. He’s been there since then getting various tests, to which they found a tumor in there at some point. They didn’t know what it was so more tests were done, to which I was told definitive results would happen today. I called since I’m stuck at work to see what was going on and all I got was “I’ll tell you later”

Now those of you that know me know precisely how I tend to overthink things. So much so that I’ve lost relationships over it, and it’s pretty much the reason I keep myself completely shut out from everyone I know. So hearing those words I started natuarally thinking the worst things possible, and I can’t fucking stop doing it. Christ, I even started breaking down in front of some residents earlier....ugh I hate being seen so...vulnerable. And not knowing what’s going to happen is even worse for someone like me.

So here I am, saying fuck it to being shut off, I need to get this off my chest or I feel like I’m gonna lose it. No one needs to reply to this, just having the thought that someone, anyone has read this is helping. And if anyone wants to respond then what do you do to get out of your head? I need to get out of mine badly...a stupid or funny video, movie or video game talk...I’ll take what I can get.

Thank you for your time