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Don’t know what to do next.......
7 years ago
Lunarwolf Fluffys Daily Life
So a few things happened and I need to address.
For one, my life has been chaotic the last few years living with my family. My mom especially canbe cruel and hurtful to me and is why I never introduce my friends to her or her to them. Today things boiled over all because of a stupid argument about American idol. She is accusing me of purposely not recording it when I made sure it was recorded and I remember queing it up on the TV for her. She doesn’t remember a thing it and she again just jumps to the conclusion that I purposely or that I genuinely forgot to record it.
I attempted to defend my opinion and give her facts to the contourary. But she never listens. Something breaks it’s my fault and she yells at me. So today my inner voice said “stand up for yourself your 33 stop letting her hurt you.” So I yelled back.
Yelling at her was a big mistake. “If your going to yell you can walk out that front door and sleeping gutter for all I care.” Confused, and angry I grabbed my IPad and iPod. Told her “fine I’ll go hang with people who care about what I have to say and respect my opinion.” After reaching out to a few furs to meetup at a local mall I gathered my stuff and she entered my room to add insult to injury. “So your gonna leave because of a stupid episode of American idol.” She scuffed in my face.” Your acting really childish and stupid.”
I don’t know about you all but she just wanted to instagate things further. After getting the confirmation that my friends would meet with me I walked out of the room and went to inform her that I was leaving cause I thought our emotions were raw and we needed time from each other. She disagreed to the point she chased after me to stop me by telling me that if I walked out the door she was gonna change the locks and I wouldn’t be allowed inside.
After hearing that she laughed saying “you didn’t think about that did you?” My head was spinning and I was so confused. She wanted to engage in an “ conversation “ which normally ends with me being the Ass hole and having to admit fault but for once I decided to stand up for myself. She barely listened to me. I know with her she is never at fault and she thinks she is perfect. But I did it, I told her about how much I feared her as a child, that her mood swings dangerously, about how she’s bossed me and my father around and would blame us for any and all mistakes.
She paused and it was said but out of her mouth. “Maybe it’s time we stopped this and you go find somewhere else to live? Apparently it’s not healthy for you to live her anymore. Sure this argument started over something foolish and stupid. But I think this was needed to be said.”
I was on my knees in tears all the things I wanted to say to her for years she said them.
So right now I am with a friend at a local mall getting advice and courage. But deep down I’m scared my future is so uncertain now.
Where do I go? What do I do?
For one, my life has been chaotic the last few years living with my family. My mom especially canbe cruel and hurtful to me and is why I never introduce my friends to her or her to them. Today things boiled over all because of a stupid argument about American idol. She is accusing me of purposely not recording it when I made sure it was recorded and I remember queing it up on the TV for her. She doesn’t remember a thing it and she again just jumps to the conclusion that I purposely or that I genuinely forgot to record it.
I attempted to defend my opinion and give her facts to the contourary. But she never listens. Something breaks it’s my fault and she yells at me. So today my inner voice said “stand up for yourself your 33 stop letting her hurt you.” So I yelled back.
Yelling at her was a big mistake. “If your going to yell you can walk out that front door and sleeping gutter for all I care.” Confused, and angry I grabbed my IPad and iPod. Told her “fine I’ll go hang with people who care about what I have to say and respect my opinion.” After reaching out to a few furs to meetup at a local mall I gathered my stuff and she entered my room to add insult to injury. “So your gonna leave because of a stupid episode of American idol.” She scuffed in my face.” Your acting really childish and stupid.”
I don’t know about you all but she just wanted to instagate things further. After getting the confirmation that my friends would meet with me I walked out of the room and went to inform her that I was leaving cause I thought our emotions were raw and we needed time from each other. She disagreed to the point she chased after me to stop me by telling me that if I walked out the door she was gonna change the locks and I wouldn’t be allowed inside.
After hearing that she laughed saying “you didn’t think about that did you?” My head was spinning and I was so confused. She wanted to engage in an “ conversation “ which normally ends with me being the Ass hole and having to admit fault but for once I decided to stand up for myself. She barely listened to me. I know with her she is never at fault and she thinks she is perfect. But I did it, I told her about how much I feared her as a child, that her mood swings dangerously, about how she’s bossed me and my father around and would blame us for any and all mistakes.
She paused and it was said but out of her mouth. “Maybe it’s time we stopped this and you go find somewhere else to live? Apparently it’s not healthy for you to live her anymore. Sure this argument started over something foolish and stupid. But I think this was needed to be said.”
I was on my knees in tears all the things I wanted to say to her for years she said them.
So right now I am with a friend at a local mall getting advice and courage. But deep down I’m scared my future is so uncertain now.
Where do I go? What do I do?
I'm sorry if that's not applicable to your situation. I didn't mean to suggest that you needed help in that way. I just don't really know your situation at all. And there's nothing to be embarrassed about in taking advantage of a program like that if it exists and you have need of it.
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If you really did have to move out you could try to see if you know anyone that has need of a roommate to help share living costs. Of course it'd have to be with someone you know well enough to trust them. It'd be bad if you went from one bad living arrangement to another by putting your faith in someone you don't know that well.
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It is also possible that your mother will renege on her position to kick you out, and you'll have more time to figure out what you're going to do next.
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Again I don't really know your situation, so I'm not sure if any of that advice is hurtful or helpful, but I thought they might be things you haven't considered. Overall though, based on what you have said it does seem like your mother is projecting a lot of stuff on you that's not really your fault. Again I only have what you're saying to go by though.
Even if this isn't the catalyst that makes you move out and live on your own, it might be a good idea to consider what you would have to do to be able to live on your own, in case this comes up again, or if you find that you cannot stand to be there anymore.
Regardless, I hope things improve for you. I'm sorry you had to go through something so traumatic.