Hey, if you decided to check out this journal thanks! I'm using this as like... kind of an actual journal this time. But... posting it here because posting things helps me actually do the let go part of processing feelings.

So, I have pretty major depression. It's been getting kind of worse? ish? lately.

One thing I was not expecting to help with the depression stuff though was making a fursona. In college I realized that i was in a weird grey area as to whether or not I was a furry. About half a year ago I started drawing some furry stuff kind of but let off for a while.

But recently I was like... you know what. I'm gonna do it. For real this time. Gonna make a sona and everything. Finally take the plunge and commit. And it's been really... freeing? For the longest time I didn't realize why people would make a fursona. it was one of those things I didn't judge but didn't really get. While i know the answer as to why you make your sona is gonna be different for everyone, I at least feel like I get it more now.

It's really nice to be able to draw a fantasy version of what I want to be. Neon punk bat with a giant floofy tail? hell yes! that's awesome! I get to also draw the things i'm not confident enough to do irl. or that depression just makes me feel like I can't. It's so... nice. to both vent with and also just... draw something fun.

I'm hoping that somehow this will help with my irl confidence. But like... for now. I'm just happy to have this small thing that works well for venting.

Anyways if you made it through this depression, insomnia fueled ramble thanks so much. my sleep meds are starting to kick in so i'm gonna go listen to some asmr and hopefully pass the fuck out

Bye!