It's been rough recently. I've actually had a pretty shitty week. Lost Tzup last week...one of my oldest friends. His loss cut deep and has left a large hole. I decided to go to FWA to see some of our mutual friends and make new memories and celebrate his memory. But on the drive down I received a call from a fellow member of my firehouse and was informed that one of my mentors and brothers was found deceased on Thursday night. Because I'm down at FWA I will miss his funeral (orthodox jewish family. traditions dictate burial within three days of death). I know it's stupid but I feel like I'm letting him down. Even though he'd be the first one of tell me to enjoy myself and party. I'm just such a mess in my head right now. I was up for 36 hours and only slept 2.5hrs and am now stalking the starbucks at the FWA marriott.

I'm so tired of burying my friends.