So, I got in the mail yesterday (Tuesday, as I write this after midnight) a card from the animal hospital, a condolence sympathy card about my dog. I don't know what it was about the card, but it really drove home that my dog is gone, and sent me into a massive bout of depression. And I don't mean like 'i'm depressed, i'm not leaving the couch' feeling, I mean 'wanting to cry my eyes out' feeling. For whatever reason, I just have not been able to shake it, and its getting worse, but I have no way to deal with it.

Then the fact my grandfather is out of town, and i'm alone with my aunt who is anything but a pleasant woman, what with her smoking, and her slob behavior, which my grandfather admits is like trying to chase after a kid, like... a 3 or 4 year old just to keep the place clean. Not to mention she goes straight for the good food before I can. And of course she doesn't really interact with me, and that leaves me pretty much mostly alone, with no companion.

Then my grandfather is resistant to a new pet as it is. I can't get another dog as he already removed the dog door slat we had from the house. I get that he doesn't want to get another dog, I admit its probably a bit too soon for me to have a dog again anyways, which leaves me with a few other options, like a cat, or ferrets. But trying to convince him is like trying to tie a knot with a bow using just one hand. I know hes got his points, but NOT having a pet right now is definitely hurting me more than helping me. I mean, what am I going to do when he goes on the Alaskan cruise in July? just sit here and mope?

Then I have a few personal problems starting to cause trouble for me, and I can't stop it, because I am barely able to comprehend the entirety of the list of problems, and its potentially going to get me kicked and banned from some places.

Suffice to say... I am not a happy fella right now. I am in despair and misery, and that may affect my behavior.