Art is slow right now because I'm dealing with shitty personal problems. One friend violated me and another betrayed me.

Art is slow because I'm an emotional wreck (not like it already was because I've been battling depression on and off lately).

Car can't be driven right now until I have enough saved to get it fixed. Smoke and grinding is coming from the back left tire well.

I'm getting sick of this.

Bad luck on top of people who take friendships for granted and disrespect others. That's 4 times this year now. I'm obviously a weak target that folks love to take advantage of. I'm not giving anyone second chances anymore. The truth is, I pity friends in need who are either lonely or having trouble in life, then I get walked all over. I'm too nice.

People I've looked up to for a long time have even left me. The friendship losses are comparable to the deaths of loved ones last year. Just experiencing it in a different way. Nothing changes.

Again, people wonder why I have mental disorders.

"You can't have it that bad"
"People are worse than you"

First of all, everyone experiences things differently. Secondly, I never asked for this. I never asked for any of it. I'm a victim in the cosmos just like the many millions of others who have been abused, but it doesn't make my situation (or any others) trivial.

In my heart and mind, I've died a thousand times.

I'm not a tool you can use for your selfish reasons. I breathe and I have a life, too. A life I'm trying to make better. I'm trying to heal and all these shit heads are just making it even more difficult.