I hate my self for doing this...

Nobody's going to hire me, even if they do.. I don't think I can push my body any further, meaning that my spine is destroyed now and I can't stand, walk, lift, bend over, lay down or even fucking sit down without feeling sharp pain running down the back of my left leg... Even now, writing this is causing a lot of pain, imagine trying to draw or write stories in constant pain...

It hurts worse every time I wake up, making it impossible to get out of bed without screaming like a little bitch..
Can't use my left leg to even lift myself up, and I know what's wrong with it.. A disk in my spine is smashing up against my nerves that hold feeling over my left thigh and rump.. I don't know what to do anymore other than ending it all....

I can't get a job with my back fucked up, and driving jobs are out of the question with the two wrecks and the fact that my license is revoked for 6 months... Still got to pay off my ticket or else I go to jail... I'm too awkward for telemarketing shit, I might cut my hair just to get a better chance at landing a job... At this point, I'd be willing to sell my self off as a slave or something..... Fuck, what's the point...?

Who in the hell would read this shit anyway? I'm only typing still because this might be the closet thing to a suicide note I can muster, I'm done... No use trying... No point living if it's only going to bring more pain, physically and mentally.. I want God to erase me, I want nonexistence...

I need help, I'm at my limit... I can't keep living like this, any of it... Please, I'm desperate...