I've been to every single BLFC, which explains my twisted world view,
and I'll be be back this year to breathe those Marlboro reds,
confuse the heck out of the pit boss and generally skate on this ice.

What is it about BLFC that is so sinfully good?
Well, it's all the sin, I guess...

This is the best convention going, in my overinflated ego's humble
opinion, and if you haven't been you should put it on your list,
right before naked skydiving or swimming with great whites while wearing
a bologna wet suit.

But I digress. As always.
Here's my conplan, for those of you wanting another Dogbomb tattoo:

I fly out from behind the orange curtain on Thursday, meeting a kitty cat
(who shall remain nameless due to a restraining order) in San Jose where we shall decimate
the airport bar and steal a Segway before sloshing onto a second sneezetube
for the hop to Reno. Southwest assures me the in-seat urinals will be fully functional.
Kitty cats have weak bladders.

Arriving in Reno, I'll be picked up by bears.
I mean literally picked up. I get to ride on the roof!
I'm not allowed in the seats due to the incident last time.

I'm staying at the GSR, because they couldn't get good fingerprints last year, and
rooming again with the ever fabulous and completely ridiculous
 Zarafa and  Scotty_the_Minotaur

These guys WANTED to room with me again, which attests to their advanced state
of mental illness. It's an unhealthy combination of personalities and I don't feel safe.

What does a mutt do at a furry convention?
Hot tub bingo.
Food fights.
Exercise bikes at 5 am.
Walmart parking lot beer fest.
Floaties in the pool. (thong optional)
ALL the concerts.
Panels? Maybeeeee...
Harass my friends and make them carry my stuff while I pretend to be disabled.
Hot tub hot tub HOT TUB dang.

I won't be able to fursuit this year due to not walking reliably, not being able to
swallow or breath right and not wanting to crush you on the escalator.
It's better this way. You'll thank me when you don't go home wearing a cast.

In all seriousness, this will likely be my last BLFC, and that's OK.
I don't know what the future holds, and anything is possible, but I'm
also a realist.
I plan to enjoy the heck out of this thing!

I go to these stupid fur balls to see you all.
There is no other reason.
You're my family and I love you all very much.

Please say hullo if you see me limping around.
It means a lot to me, and I appreciate every kindness that I've been shown.

And if you see my trying to bowl, please gently take the ball out of my hands
and redirect my attention to something cold and wet.
It's safer for everyone.