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This is who I am
7 years ago
General
I know I will get eyerolls but whatever, fuck your face, I'm over it now.
If you don't want to read this rambling mess, skip to the bottom for the TL;DR
As I have grew up in my teens I've never once felt any attraction to anyone. I didn't care much for seeing the differences between male and female besides physical ones. I would find myself a bit of a late bloomer and didn't start dating until I was in college. Even then, I have only been with two people in my entire life. During those times though I was starting to realize more and more that I was feeling attracted to the person themselves and really could careless of their gender but I was not comfortable stating that and figured that since I'm already taken, there was no reason to even let it be known.
I have been curious of my friends' opinions on the matter of being attracted to the opposite and your own gender. At the time I wasn't aware of many different identities. The replies I have gotten, weren't all that positive so I just figured it was best to keep my mouth shut on the matter. I would hear things like "Bisexuals are just greedy" or "They are just confused, you are either straight or gay" and the worst "They just want attention cause it's the new fad". It's really hurtful but me being me just didn't want the drama or arguments and just kept it to myself, even convincing myself that maybe I was just 'confused'.
Years later, I have became more and more confident in sharing who I am regardless of stigma. The first was that I was Agnostic-Atheist, I found that as very risky thing to say but I figure if you were my friend before I talked about that, nothing about me has changed with me just letting others know. I still respect other's beliefs as long as it does not encroach on other people's lives, harm others or yourself, and accept science.
Next I finally came to terms with the anxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues I have been told all my life to "Just get over it" or "Toughen up". That helps no one and is fueled by ignorance. It prevents the person from seeking help and puts them into a world of debilitating issues. I finally put my foot down and went to seek help on my own and honestly if I never did I would not be where I am today. I still have a lot to work on and counseling have brought out some deep rooted shit that would explain everything going on so I can knock these issues out of my life! I will go more in depth with what I mean later in another post.
I've come to terms up learning more about myself and information that I identify as bisexual. I never really came outright with it due to a few in my circle of friend's opinions about it. But for the longest while I was certain I was indeed this way.
It wasn't until I have learned that I don't seem to really care what gender you are, if I find you attractive physically and mentally it will have nothing to do with what gender you identify. I've come to learn that it fits more into the definition of Pansexuality. I never brought it up though since it was not a common term and I just could not tell the difference between bi and pan. Bi isn't just male and female attraction, it's to 2 or more but not all. Pan is all and I feel I am lean more towards that.
I know what a lot of you might say/think "Well you are happily married to someone of the opposite gender so what is the point of saying any of this?" or "You can't be if you haven't hooked up with any other gender besides male". I get that. But please do understand, I've have had a hard time coming to terms and convincing myself otherwise from peer pressure and being accused of 'being greedy' or 'trying to get attention'. I've only been with 2 people, yes. However, I have been also very shy, awkward and barely any confidence approaching anyone. I am also happy in my marriage and no part of me will or even wants to ruin it.
The reason I do want to bring it out is to also support others to open up and take pride in who they are. That you can have a small dating record and be in a relationship and know you you are in attracted to hell maybe it might create interesting and positive results to strengthen your current one. Know that you are NOT just confused, gaining attention, etc. You are you and only YOU know yourself!
TL;DR I am a Demi, Pansexual, Agnostic Atheist, with Anxiety (possible PTSD) ,Black ,liberal and independent woman! My husband is the love of my life and thank you for being with me and accepting who I am!
If you don't want to read this rambling mess, skip to the bottom for the TL;DR
As I have grew up in my teens I've never once felt any attraction to anyone. I didn't care much for seeing the differences between male and female besides physical ones. I would find myself a bit of a late bloomer and didn't start dating until I was in college. Even then, I have only been with two people in my entire life. During those times though I was starting to realize more and more that I was feeling attracted to the person themselves and really could careless of their gender but I was not comfortable stating that and figured that since I'm already taken, there was no reason to even let it be known.
I have been curious of my friends' opinions on the matter of being attracted to the opposite and your own gender. At the time I wasn't aware of many different identities. The replies I have gotten, weren't all that positive so I just figured it was best to keep my mouth shut on the matter. I would hear things like "Bisexuals are just greedy" or "They are just confused, you are either straight or gay" and the worst "They just want attention cause it's the new fad". It's really hurtful but me being me just didn't want the drama or arguments and just kept it to myself, even convincing myself that maybe I was just 'confused'.
Years later, I have became more and more confident in sharing who I am regardless of stigma. The first was that I was Agnostic-Atheist, I found that as very risky thing to say but I figure if you were my friend before I talked about that, nothing about me has changed with me just letting others know. I still respect other's beliefs as long as it does not encroach on other people's lives, harm others or yourself, and accept science.
Next I finally came to terms with the anxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues I have been told all my life to "Just get over it" or "Toughen up". That helps no one and is fueled by ignorance. It prevents the person from seeking help and puts them into a world of debilitating issues. I finally put my foot down and went to seek help on my own and honestly if I never did I would not be where I am today. I still have a lot to work on and counseling have brought out some deep rooted shit that would explain everything going on so I can knock these issues out of my life! I will go more in depth with what I mean later in another post.
I've come to terms up learning more about myself and information that I identify as bisexual. I never really came outright with it due to a few in my circle of friend's opinions about it. But for the longest while I was certain I was indeed this way.
It wasn't until I have learned that I don't seem to really care what gender you are, if I find you attractive physically and mentally it will have nothing to do with what gender you identify. I've come to learn that it fits more into the definition of Pansexuality. I never brought it up though since it was not a common term and I just could not tell the difference between bi and pan. Bi isn't just male and female attraction, it's to 2 or more but not all. Pan is all and I feel I am lean more towards that.
I know what a lot of you might say/think "Well you are happily married to someone of the opposite gender so what is the point of saying any of this?" or "You can't be if you haven't hooked up with any other gender besides male". I get that. But please do understand, I've have had a hard time coming to terms and convincing myself otherwise from peer pressure and being accused of 'being greedy' or 'trying to get attention'. I've only been with 2 people, yes. However, I have been also very shy, awkward and barely any confidence approaching anyone. I am also happy in my marriage and no part of me will or even wants to ruin it.
The reason I do want to bring it out is to also support others to open up and take pride in who they are. That you can have a small dating record and be in a relationship and know you you are in attracted to hell maybe it might create interesting and positive results to strengthen your current one. Know that you are NOT just confused, gaining attention, etc. You are you and only YOU know yourself!
TL;DR I am a Demi, Pansexual, Agnostic Atheist, with Anxiety (possible PTSD) ,Black ,liberal and independent woman! My husband is the love of my life and thank you for being with me and accepting who I am!
But it's good you can do this. And yes, it is cheeze, cringe-y, and eye rolling worthy. But if it's important to you, and it doesn't harm others, I think then that is perfectly fine.
Besides, the path of self discovery is often one that takes you on travels you never imagined you'd have. I'd say that this journey was worth the trip, eh?
My whole life from the moment I tried to come out to even now, people make comments like that.
I've also been in a long term relationship and gotten those "you must be straight since-"
Despite me having a girlfriend before. I must have been "confused"
No, I know what I am, can't change it, will wear it proud.
So good for you! Honestly a lot of folks stay in the closet/are too afraid to come out.
You've done the most difficult part. Be honest with yourself and work on it!
Work on how to improve on yourself and ignore the rude uninformed comments.
You've said it now, the next step is dealing with anything that comes your way.
It's your life, live it how you want and be happy you are who you are <3
I find myself relating to what you're saying a lot. In a similar way, I've only ever really had one meaningful relationship with my current significant other and it's complex in terms of the dynamic.
As they saying goes, easier said than done so I'm proud of ya.
Keep up the good work~
Congrats on finding yourself, it's a very important step towards happiness. The saying "It gets better" is something I always keep in mind. It's very simple but it's true. Eventually you'll make real friends and settle into the life you choose for yourself. Not the life that others think they have the right to choose for you.
Love you!
Because this is how you get hugs!
>8€
*hug*
I'm indifferent about people knowing that I'm pansexual but I'm more conflicted about people knowing that I'm polyamorus for the same reasons you said about bi-sexuality/pansexuality. "It's greedy etc" "You're just not happy with what you've got so you're cheating" etc etc etc, the whole 9 yards.
It's just such a breath of fresh air to just shout it from the mountaintops and be done with it. Seeing an artist I look up to come forward with something like this gives me the courage to want to do publicly lay claim to that part of me at some point in the future.