FA+
Shop
SPIDERS 3D Review
7 years ago
First off, I know what some of you are thinking, Mike reviewing a Spider film ? But anyhoo.
The film opens to a derelict CCCP space station which seems to overrun with spiders when suddenly it is struck by an asteroid, the stations falls to earth and burns up in re-entry killing all eight legged bastards, credits roll....
Ok, I was joking..
The lead actor is Patrick Muldoon (who some of you might know better as the slimy pilot Zander Barcalow from Starship Troopers) who is Jason Cole, a New York Transit subway supervisor. After a waste container from the station hits a subway tunnel and one of the skitterbastards attacks a worker, resulting in his 'Death' from touching the live 3rd rail, it turns out that a U.S. Army colonel, Jenkins, is working with one of the Russian scientists Doctor Darnoff who was involved in the protect aboard the station at the start of the film.
It turns out that two decades ago, the Russians found a spacecraft under the ice and after experimenting with genesplicing found that if they combined it with spider DNA (though the exact type isn't mentioned) they could use the queen to produce an unending supply of spider-silk for the construction of body armour and thereby giving the nation that controls the source (the Queen) a military and industrial advantage over all other nations.
Unsurprisingly the spiders get loose and after the US army attacks them, they start attacking back. On top of this, Colonel JENKINS goes rogue and sends the most blatant screw up of a Cleaner to tie up loose ends, 2 co-workers and a pair of unlucky lab workers.
Meanwhile we have the trope of father committed more to his job than his child cliché with bonus points for the divorcing wife who also happens to be a work colleague, a New York city coroner who's only real contribution to the film is to show what a good mother she is, finding the queen egg and causing the death of the two lab workers and her boss :p
The film is actually pretty good up until the last 30 minutes where despite the Dump truck sized Queen breaks out and struts her stuff to focus on the suddenly back together Jason and Rachel Cole searching for their daughter who was contained with her babysitter at the Colonel's orders.
But we do get to see moments of the Queen fight against several squads of soldiers, 2 helicopters, a armoured truck of some sort with a minigun and at least one tank, but no!! we get family drama instead....
The ending of the film is completely unoriginal and flushes whatever interest the first 57 minutes built up to a predictable final showdown and ending sting.
BUT
I still liked it.
Directed by : Christa Campbell as Rachel Cole
Production Company : Nu Images
Budget : $7 million dollars (estimated)
PROS
The XenoSpyders overall Design
Some Practical effects along with CGI
A (mostly) non-mad Scientist
Effects in general were decent
Forklift Chase/Battle (seriously this needs to be a thing more often!)
CONS
The M / Emily drinking game (which I am currently recovering from)
Christa Campbell's acting
Unnecessary family breaking up / rescue child plotline
The Cleaner
The film opens to a derelict CCCP space station which seems to overrun with spiders when suddenly it is struck by an asteroid, the stations falls to earth and burns up in re-entry killing all eight legged bastards, credits roll....
Ok, I was joking..
The lead actor is Patrick Muldoon (who some of you might know better as the slimy pilot Zander Barcalow from Starship Troopers) who is Jason Cole, a New York Transit subway supervisor. After a waste container from the station hits a subway tunnel and one of the skitterbastards attacks a worker, resulting in his 'Death' from touching the live 3rd rail, it turns out that a U.S. Army colonel, Jenkins, is working with one of the Russian scientists Doctor Darnoff who was involved in the protect aboard the station at the start of the film.
It turns out that two decades ago, the Russians found a spacecraft under the ice and after experimenting with genesplicing found that if they combined it with spider DNA (though the exact type isn't mentioned) they could use the queen to produce an unending supply of spider-silk for the construction of body armour and thereby giving the nation that controls the source (the Queen) a military and industrial advantage over all other nations.
Unsurprisingly the spiders get loose and after the US army attacks them, they start attacking back. On top of this, Colonel JENKINS goes rogue and sends the most blatant screw up of a Cleaner to tie up loose ends, 2 co-workers and a pair of unlucky lab workers.
Meanwhile we have the trope of father committed more to his job than his child cliché with bonus points for the divorcing wife who also happens to be a work colleague, a New York city coroner who's only real contribution to the film is to show what a good mother she is, finding the queen egg and causing the death of the two lab workers and her boss :p
The film is actually pretty good up until the last 30 minutes where despite the Dump truck sized Queen breaks out and struts her stuff to focus on the suddenly back together Jason and Rachel Cole searching for their daughter who was contained with her babysitter at the Colonel's orders.
But we do get to see moments of the Queen fight against several squads of soldiers, 2 helicopters, a armoured truck of some sort with a minigun and at least one tank, but no!! we get family drama instead....
The ending of the film is completely unoriginal and flushes whatever interest the first 57 minutes built up to a predictable final showdown and ending sting.
BUT
I still liked it.
Directed by : Christa Campbell as Rachel Cole
Production Company : Nu Images
Budget : $7 million dollars (estimated)
PROS
The XenoSpyders overall Design
Some Practical effects along with CGI
A (mostly) non-mad Scientist
Effects in general were decent
Forklift Chase/Battle (seriously this needs to be a thing more often!)
CONS
The M / Emily drinking game (which I am currently recovering from)
Christa Campbell's acting
Unnecessary family breaking up / rescue child plotline
The Cleaner
