I'm also considering demisexual just for the safety of "being allowed to have sexual interest" sometimes

but i tend to think more towards asexuality since I'm really usually not interested in any intercourse ?
It's not only dependant on developing a bond to the person but ... yeah idk.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27431478/

realized my new sona also fit the asexual flag ITS A NICE COLOR PALETTE OKAY ? XD

So asexuallity is super hard to tell sometimes. Blu the Fucking Dragon did a few vidoes on it on youtube and are pretty good.

When I was younger, well just 3 years ago really, I was fairly sure I was asexual, but it was mostly just me being uncomfortable with sex and really unsure about it. *not always the case, but it was with me* When getting into a relationship I opened up about sex with him, and still only really feel sexual attraction to him. This led me to realize I wasn't asexual, but rather Demisexual.

Also, for asexuality, you don't have to dislike sex or have to not have sex to be asexual. It's more just not feeling a sexual attraction to things. Asexuals often have sex though, for multiple reasons. So it's hard to really put a finger on what "Asexual" really is *trust me I actually looked up on it a lot and was set for almost a year on that's what I was until i found someone to explore the thought of sex more* I'm open to talking about it with you if you want to ^^ It was really confusing for me too and I found talking about it helps.

Overall, I really personally think trying to place a label on yourself can often be more confusing than just knowing what you want. (It was for me, and even caused some issues with family trying to tease me about it) If you're not sure about sex but are open to it, then maybe talking about it with others and learning more about yourself through it would be better than trying to place a label :3

hope this helps ^^

I'm not too worried about how my situation is, I see it as rather unnessecairy to use a label for how i feel just because I lack sexual interest.

I'd still like to know if i could call myself asexual or not. Thinking a bit more about it I actually think the answer might be no or very unsure since I kind of have turn ons ? IDK
it's so complex
I think labelling myself demisexual is easier since you're not completely excluding sexual interest.


i'm just scared of false labelling. I really feel i can kind of identify with being asexual, but in like my own way of asexual. And i don't know if that's okay ? XD
I also hate saying I'm depressed or anything just because of the fear to false label myself and therefor insult the people who actually are depressed / asexual

*literally wanting to label herself just so she can use a fancy flag wth is wrong with me*

It's just easier to say "I'm asexual" and explain that further than

HI I RARELY HAVE ANY SEXUAL INTEREST BUT I STILL DO THE SEX WITH A SPECIAL SOMEONE BECAUSE I'M NICE
to a person you're trying to get to know..


sadly most people don't at all know asexuality and don't FUCKING KNOW HOW TO READ because then it's just

"but would you do the thing with your boyfriend?" and I'm all here like ITS NOT ABSTINENCE IT LITERALLY SAYS ON WIKIPEDIA again explaining xD

Oh i get that 100% i was the same way, and honestly it's the reason I try to stay away from labels, more due to the fact that there are people who will flip their shit on you if you don't fit their description of said label lol. I dont even have Demi on my profile for the fact that I dont think its too important (and family poking fun :/)

I think you can label yourself asexual if thats truley how you feel. Asexual was such a weird concept to me, even though its how i felt for a year or so. Personally i feel like if you have some sexual attractions or def feel it with a person youre connected with, youd fall under demi more than asexual. It would be a "safer" label anyway if youre worried about offending others, or taking away from them.

I personally think labels for sexuality arent important unless youre looking for a partner and want to let others know your preference, but thats just me. I know its important to others even if i dont quite understand/ agree haha.

As for people who go around doubting every asexual, they can also buzz off cause well thats ultimatly up to you. I went from asexual to demisexual and its all about learning who you are. It may change in the future or youll find yourself through life experience.

I mean getting to flaunt a fancy flag is fun xD lol! Id say look into the deffinitions of them and match them with what you feel you are. You can always change the label if things change for you. Thats the great thing about labels. You get to choose and change them as you change in life. Dont feel restricted by them.

As indicated, Asexuality means you almost never feel any semblance of sexual attraction or arousal towards anyone or anything.

The only qualification for being asexual is not experiencing sexual attraction. Not sex drive, sexual desire, or sexual arousal. Those have nothing to do with it. So for example “I really want to have sex with someone, but there is no one I inherently want to do that with,” then you are still asexual. Feel free to note me for any further clarification. I have been asexual my whole life and have been studying asexuality and other orientations for about 6 years now

This is super helpful. Good on you for studying so in depth!!

Personally, I feel like demisexual is in a way wierder than asexual. I know it's a totally valid sexuality, but the description sounds like we're making exceptions. It sounds like saying you're vegan but you also eat pork. If you're not eating pork, why tell people you make an exception for it?

I also feel like "Demisexual" sounds like a fairy tale, like you'll only ever be sexually attracted to one person ever so you won't ever even dream of cheating on them and you'll live happily ever after. It's almost suspicious in a way. And then, you start getting serious with someone and you have to tell them you're asexual and not actually demisexual? That's like "Bait and switch," you know? For all they know, next you're going to tell them you're only sexually attracted to people you *aren't* in a relationship with!

I think it's better they know what they're getting right off the bat. If you're going to be something other than what is considered normal, don't pretend to be a different sort of abnormal. People who care to know you should know the real you, not the watered down version of you.

Don't... be a gatekeeper...

Sexual attraction isn't that simple. I understand that you are confused about it but being rude about a sexuality isn't the answer, learn more and be open to talking to people who are that sexuality.

... and the entire idea of being something more -Normally- abnormal... is silly.

Sorry. I wasn't trying to be rude. I just wanted to question whether demisexual was really a "Safer" option than asexual. I mean, it's got it's drawbacks too, right? If that's the "Easy" way out, why not go further and just say you're celibate? Do you want people to understand who you are, or do you want them to stop asking questions?

...I feel like I'm digging myself into a hole here. Should I bail or keep trying?

Im not gonna talk about this too in depth, but:

I dont always get your point ? Like youre talking about changing your mind on asexuality / demisexuality but i dont see the relation to the topic ?

Also being demisexual to me isnt about only EVER being attracted to ONE person, but more the fact that you don't engage in platonic relationships. Like you just dont feel sexual attraction without feeling romantic attraction to the person too.
So why would it be like a fairytale?
It also doesnt mean you would never cheat. A demisexual can still cheat- its not like sexual cheating is the only way ?
Like you could have a exclusively romantic relationship but fall in love with someone else - which is still completely in the "possibilities" of either a demi or asexual.

Yeah, I'm better at writing narratives than arguments. :( All kinds of ideas pop into my head, and they feel right when I write them down, but then I wind up with a huge mess with no idea how to salvage it. I probably shouldn't've said anything

Like I said to AceHatter, I just wanted to question whether or not claiming to be demisexual was "Safer" than admitting you were asexual. I feel like being yourself is complicated enough without having to be someone else on top of it. The demisexual experience may be similar to your own, but an orangutan's DNA is 96.3% similar to a human's. A small difference on paper can be a big difference in execution. While I can't reasonably imagine you'd get much flak for building a smaller closet in your closet, especially since I don't know your situation nearly as well as you do, I just feel like you only need so many closets.

Let me know if I'm close to being blocked. I feel like I'm doing really poorly

I wont block people for explaining their opinion.

Also for me its more like this:
Im definitly demisexual
To me the next step from demisexual is asexual - which i think might also fit
So: i definitly only ever feel attracted to people i have other feelings for. But thats also rare as sh**, so thats exactly why id probably be ace.

Also ace doesnt equal celibate or abstinence. Maybe check out the comic acehatter linked below, its really helpful ! ^^

I know asexual isn't the same thing as celibate, I just figured more people understood and accepted it than asexuality or demisexuality. If I may go on a tangent for sake of example, there was a time (and maybe this still happens) when homosexuals would join the priesthood because no one questions why a priest doesn't date women.

At any rate, I think I misunderstood the situation and thought you were definitely asexual contemplating demisexuality. I can't confidently claim to be either of those (if anything, I've been too timid to even socialize. Hell, I avoided getting a haircut for months because I might have to talk to the barber.) but if we're making distinctions at all I'd say you sound more demisexual than asexual.

Don't mind me getting in on this once more
to me as an asexual you are also definitly demisexual

like demi is only having interest in someone you like
ace is no interest at all

so like being asexual (definitely) and contemplating demi makes no sense (to me), since you already "passed that stage" in my oppinion ?
its like demi is the less extreme i dont have sexual interest form so its closer to "normal" than ace

NO youre not demi just because youre ace its just for understanding purposes


Not meaning to continue the argument but as you said for yourself i think a lot too and i like sharing my thoughs somewhere so XD

I feel like I'm being misunderstood, and I apologize for being pedantic. What I meant was that I thought you were asexual, and that you were considering telling people you were demisexual because other people might understand that better. (I didn't say that because I thought I might offend you) Maybe I was reading too much into it. Just wanted to clarify that

Ahhh now i get you xD
But as said what i explained wasnt to make another argument but just my thoughts.

This is a super helpful comic that really gave me an inside view of the differences in sexual and asexual people. I myself am ace so it made a lot of sense to me. Hope this helps!
https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic.....on-asexuality/

Thanks !
Its not like anything of that was unclear to me but seeing it all ordered in one place really helped me :'D

I TRIED TO COMMENT BUT I COULDNT DO IT lol im sorry for the hide comment that was me anyway
unpopular opinion, warning


im a virgin, i never slept with my bf and ive lived with him for years but i dont call myself anything... i dont get the whole label thing. i dont feel people would ask about your sex life enough to need to label it. shun me

your label is
we wait until marriage in this house :P
there you go

lol till you realize he doesnt wanna marry my ass :,) xD really. it doesnt matter to him at all wther we get married or not...we have talked about it. kinda sucks lowkey i wanted to to get married
maybe he will change his mind
but i understand lol
either way thats beyond my point. im saying my sex life sure as hell doesnt dictate what i call myself.
or are u gonna make a special name and flag for "wait till marriage"
i define myself as 'marriedsexual" see how dumb that sounds

honestly YES PLEASE

"ey wanna fuqq"
"im marriedsexual, sorry"

PLEASE
BIHH

also we talked about this so im making more fun of this now BECAUSE I GOT YOUR POINT ALREADY LOL


also
super romantic scene
he says he isnt into getting married
you think he wont marry you
he proposes
super unexpected


_{you say no}
XD

yes i will be putting this on my official ref for sure

x,D no but rly just be yourself and dont search for a label. whatever happens happens, thats not how life or love works. i think you lowkey know this

I highkey know this we talked about it dexx

i dont think its nessecairy to justify not being interested in the sex with a label

but also i like the asexual flag ITS CUTE OKAY XD

IT WAS JUST A QUESTION TO SATISFY MY BRAINS THINKING NEEDS

Außerdem leben wir nicht in einem Haus. Wir leben in einer Wohnung. Meine Güte. ..dont assume my home
im also not trying to devalue anyone elses opinion. you do you, i support all love

well a flat is still in a house
except its a hut
or a bridge
oh well

i have to doodle something.

uhh
apartment is the american word, flat is only popular word for apartment in the uk and i think australia? but idk i dont travel much lol and i only learn my german from a language app x,D maybe theres my problem

why do i feel like your doodle is something awful lol

Asexuality isn't about being a virgin or not being interested in sex ^-^ I included the definition and an example in my comment if you'd like to scroll up and take a look :) And I would honestly love going more in depth about asexuality and the importance of labels with you some time :D Asexuality is my favorite conversation topic. I just felt it best to not comment a long and complicated answer when a proper definition is all that's needed. But seriously, note me any time or we can talk during one of your streams ^-^ I'm never NOT in the mood to talk about asexuality!

no i get it and honestly i kinda feel bad i am not trying to put anyone down who feels comfortable with a label like i just dont get why youd need to tell someone that right off the bat at all let alone feel defined by your urges or lackthereof
maybe its just something i dont understand because i myself am not that way
i totally dont mind talking about it just because i dont get it entirely doesnt mean im not willing to listen to all points of view, that's how i feel i come to best understanding of things

i'd say asexual means no interest in sex. ya might still do it, but it's a lack of the URGE to do it. demisexual would be where you usually don't have any interest, but when you get really close to someone, an interest specifically in sex with THEM develops.

isnt that just most people tho
get to know u before i have sex?

Dexx think of the people on Tinder and co.

there's not as many of us as you might think haha :'D
does that answer your question ?

no because im that way and dont call myself that so it doesnt make sense to me still idk

eh ? context?

i meant the "get to know before fuq"
tinder people are not into getting to know you
just to say that the "most of us want that" is kind of vague ? XD
I mean im pretty sure most of us would be considered "demisexual" but honestly theres just too many people listening to their GENITALIA

i just have to get used to the fact that what used to be standard is now a whole sexuality
im aware theres a bunch of hit and quits on tinder
but for the most part, people want to know and build somewhat of an emotional bond before they fuck
or am i wrong
it just seems like a very very loose term that should by that stabdard be inclusive to everyone with the exception of a few quagmires
like why do we need a word for that

yeah the whole "everything is now a sexuality" is why i really think that its slowly becoming (and should become) IM HUMAN AND I LOVE PEOPLE IN MY WAY

also like pride month is for the "outcast" sexualities since hetero is the majority...

maybe
demisexual shouldnt be a sexuality because its the majority but
I FUCK EVERYTHING should be one. (it is im pretty sure DON'T TAKE THIS PART TOO SERIOUSLY ITS IN GOOD FUN I SWEAR)

yeah, 'i fuck everything' is pansexual, i think XD

i think porn is weird and im not a demisexual, so boo to that theory but pretty much. more like "i would fuck anyone if i liked them and all" is a less damning way of putting it lol

not just porn, but images and stories and anything. what you call yourself is your business though, not mine. you do you.

the difference between demisexual and 'normal' is that 'normal' is being able to be sexually attracted to and aroused by people without getting to know them. like, a demisexual would not be able to be aroused by porn, unless they knew the people in it personally and cared for them. the thing about sexual orientations is that they are not the same thing as sexual behavior. so just because someone doesn't make a habit of fucking people they don't know well, doesn't necessarily mean they are demisexual, cuz they might still be able to be turned on by images of people they don't know, and just not act on it.

but i do agree that there are an obscene amount of new fancy labels for sexuality and gender and i don't think they are nearly as important as people act like they are.