Where should i even begin....
so much time has passed,
am i even still the same person anymore after everything that has transpired?
For starters winter 2016 was tantamount to open heart surgery.
Long story short the girl i was living with broke up with me on new years eve....
then financial blunder after financial blunder and job after job....i can speak candidly about this because enough time has elapsed. i was put into a very nasty situation and did something i deeply regret i betrayed the trust of my own family.....The guilt and the fact that i was (and still am) in debt.....

There were several weeks where i literally wanted to die i am far from being suicidal but let me tell you i understand quit a bit more about chronic depression now.......it is a thief it will steal and sap every ounce of life from you until there is nothing left ....i was stuck in a lease (that was for to expensive) with an ex girlfriend.
I seriously thought i had burned my bridges.....that is all in the past now....i suffered through my own personal version of hell... I am happy to report that no bridges were burnt. When my lease ran out I made a very difficult decision, perhaps one of the most difficult decisions i have ever made. It was time to cut the cord, to hit the reset button so to speak....i am now a resident of Missouri.....my mothers side of the family is here. I have been here since February 18th. It took quite a while to get over the culture shock. I have had my own place since April
i got a job at the first place i applied to (southern bbq ftw)

and i finally got working internet yesterday. Things are actually looking up

i received a minor promotion at work because 2/5 of the kitchen staff walked out mid service and left 4 of us (including the owner) to serve close to 300 people needless to say it was mayhem. afterwords i got a tiny raise and a promotion.

I will rebuild my life stone by stone if need be.
returning to a sense of normalcy was quite a challenge.

also on a side note, I am not going to talk too much about religion because this isn't the time or place to do so, but do to the fact that there is a decent sized pagan community here the transition hasn't been quite as hard. there were times were faith was all i had left.

in short i am back guys i have some stuff to post...nothing earth shattering.

but damn my head is still spinning just four months ago i was in a terrible situation and struggling to get by now i can pay rent and actually have a tiny surplus..

it has been a crazy few months but i will be back again soon...thanks for putting up with My peculiar brand of insanity...until next time