I think I remember why I didn't usually write journals before now unless I had some abundant good news or something; I was afraid of just venting my frustrations online for all the world to see because I either didn't wanna look weak about it, or because I think enough people have problems posted online and I didn't want to just be one more person added to the pile of sad hikis posting about how sad they are for some pity points.

That's not to say I look down on those that do post online, I just think I was trying to dig myself out of my own troubles without garnering pity or something dumb like that.

Ugh, but if ever I felt pitiful, now would be the time. I've been holding up in my room for hours, unable to leave without catching aggro of my dad, his girlfriend, or any of the people roaming around the house, clearing out things for the new tenants to move in. I'm trapped in my bedroom, not wanting to be seen, unable to reach my computer or any food or anything. My dad just constantly scolds me for staying up late, not out of concern for my health or because I have to do something the next day, but because he keeps bugging me to clear out my bedroom and office for the new tenants. Heavily implying that my chances of staying at this house at the end of the month are slim to none, but nobody has the heart to admit it to me yet.

I've been locked in my room for almost five hours just trying to avoid the eyes of strangers walking around my house while I'm unshowered and unable to reach my clean clothes in a different room. I haaate living like this, and I'm probably just over reacting to something that's not even a big deal, but I haven't felt the least bit welcomed home by my own family since coming back from another country after a breakup. I'm just really sad and want things to go back to normal, but it looks like that's not gonna happen. u_u

I just want to go to work to have a good excuse to stay as far away from my dad as possible. I always, always forget how much he and I don't get along until we spend more than a few moments together. The only times we're ever on the same page is when we're miles away and don't have to interact for more than five minutes - and living with him is the wooorst.

Siiigh... What's even worse is I can't even hide in my room forever. In another hour, he'll be back home from work and asking me why I haven't done anything all day and yell about me staying up late and wasting time and asdfghjk--

God, I'm so frustrated. I can function like a normal human being, I promise, I just CAN'T around my dad or my family because they judge every little thing I do...