feel like i'm slowly going insane..mostly because depression is getting worse i'm getting more and more stuck in my head hard to snap out of it,more and more stress is building up iv never been good at sorting out my feelings and trying to relax or ask for help when i need it, i'm allowing my self to be the victim to Verbal abuse by friends not because i want to or want attention i think its more of just rebounding back to what i knew?

I know pain its what im sued to what i know, now that i'm not around it anymore not around all the toxicity i'm at a loss to do? i want to move on i'm with ppl in rl who want/will help that happen help me not be stuck int his kind mind set yet at the same time i'm afraid of moving on?? afraid of the help?? in the back of my mind i'm always thinking "what do they want? what do they get out of this" for just helping me and i know i shouldn't think that way..

Got some friends telling me i should see a psychiatrist and i don't doubt them mabeh siting down and talking to someone i don't know about all this may help me. but a the same time i'm to afraid and that's the problem iv gone from an confident person now i'm just a wuss who lets fear run there life's...i know most will ignore my post's every one duse but if anyone duse happen to stumble a pon this.. a friends is indeed something i need right now and advice if anyone has any because i don't like feeling all thsi negative energy and im starting to feel like no matter what i do ill never get over/get better.