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Do I Look Like A Smoker?
7 years ago
General
No, seriously.
The annual Toronto (Canada) Pride Parade happened last Sunday and I'm glad to say that our first Furry float, (Kerfluffle 7), was a big success. They didn't start until well back in the parade, but I'm glad I stayed and got lots of video and pictures of them, which I'll post later, after some... erh, post-production. Waiting wasn't bad, though, as there were lots of sexy floats and dancers and marchers and things to watch. I had a lot of fun... until It Started.
It started with a tap on my elbow. I looked around and saw this young guy, a short guy, glaring at me and flicking a curiously bent cigarette which he was holding up. The thing wasn't lit, so I immediately gathered that he wanted a light. Now I didn't much care for his impatient scowl or the way he didn't bother to speak. But the wisdom of his gesture quickly dawned on me; it was a parade, there were a crowd and a noise float nearby, we probably couldn't have heard each other anyway. As for his expression, it could have just been his rest face; my own is a bit off-putting if I don't think to smile. Well, I don't smoke, so I didn't have a light for him. Since he didn't speak to me, I didn't reply, I tried to gesture instead. Then I turned back to the parade, thinking no more of it.
That is until my nose began to hurt. No, I do not mean that something smelled rather unpleasant. I mean that something was making my nose feel very scratchy and uncomfortable. And my eyes. And the back of my throat. And there was also the smell of tobacco smoke; acrid, but tolerable if it wasn't also making every mucous membrane in my face itch, (as it always does.) I looked around for the source of the fumes. Sure enough, there was the same little guy. Somebody had given him a light and he was holding up his cigarette so that the smoke was blowing at me. Nor was he even close to finished being deliberately and actively rude with me... but that's not my point.
My point is that this wasn't the first time. He was by far the most annoying, drunken, little twerp to ever bug me for a cigarette or a light, most smokers are reasonably polite about it. But every so often, out of the blue, somebody will think I have what they need to relieve their nicotine withdrawal symptoms. I'm not a smoker! I don't have cigarettes and I don't have a lighter! Why does anybody think I do?
With this latest drunken twerp, it's gotten to the point that it's really bugging me!
Look, some of you here have met me IRL and some of those must be smokers themselves. Do I look like a smoker? Do I somehow act like a smoker? Am I accidentally doing the smoker's handshake or carrying something around, (other than tobacco), that smokers like to display?
I asked my brother, (an ex-smoker), about this. His best guess is that I carry my cellphone in my breast pocket and it looks like a pack of cigarettes. I keep my cell in a black plastic case. Is there a brand of cigarettes that come in a black pack? (FTM, is there a brand of cigarettes that come in a pack with a 3.5mm headphone jack? I've had smokers try to talk to me while I was listening to podcasts.) Where do you guys keep your cellphones?
Does anybody know of a way to show smokers that I am not one of them before they waste their time and mine asking me for something I ain't got? ...other than reacting adversely to my sinuses itching; apparently, they consider that rude.
The annual Toronto (Canada) Pride Parade happened last Sunday and I'm glad to say that our first Furry float, (Kerfluffle 7), was a big success. They didn't start until well back in the parade, but I'm glad I stayed and got lots of video and pictures of them, which I'll post later, after some... erh, post-production. Waiting wasn't bad, though, as there were lots of sexy floats and dancers and marchers and things to watch. I had a lot of fun... until It Started.
It started with a tap on my elbow. I looked around and saw this young guy, a short guy, glaring at me and flicking a curiously bent cigarette which he was holding up. The thing wasn't lit, so I immediately gathered that he wanted a light. Now I didn't much care for his impatient scowl or the way he didn't bother to speak. But the wisdom of his gesture quickly dawned on me; it was a parade, there were a crowd and a noise float nearby, we probably couldn't have heard each other anyway. As for his expression, it could have just been his rest face; my own is a bit off-putting if I don't think to smile. Well, I don't smoke, so I didn't have a light for him. Since he didn't speak to me, I didn't reply, I tried to gesture instead. Then I turned back to the parade, thinking no more of it.
That is until my nose began to hurt. No, I do not mean that something smelled rather unpleasant. I mean that something was making my nose feel very scratchy and uncomfortable. And my eyes. And the back of my throat. And there was also the smell of tobacco smoke; acrid, but tolerable if it wasn't also making every mucous membrane in my face itch, (as it always does.) I looked around for the source of the fumes. Sure enough, there was the same little guy. Somebody had given him a light and he was holding up his cigarette so that the smoke was blowing at me. Nor was he even close to finished being deliberately and actively rude with me... but that's not my point.
My point is that this wasn't the first time. He was by far the most annoying, drunken, little twerp to ever bug me for a cigarette or a light, most smokers are reasonably polite about it. But every so often, out of the blue, somebody will think I have what they need to relieve their nicotine withdrawal symptoms. I'm not a smoker! I don't have cigarettes and I don't have a lighter! Why does anybody think I do?
With this latest drunken twerp, it's gotten to the point that it's really bugging me!
Look, some of you here have met me IRL and some of those must be smokers themselves. Do I look like a smoker? Do I somehow act like a smoker? Am I accidentally doing the smoker's handshake or carrying something around, (other than tobacco), that smokers like to display?
I asked my brother, (an ex-smoker), about this. His best guess is that I carry my cellphone in my breast pocket and it looks like a pack of cigarettes. I keep my cell in a black plastic case. Is there a brand of cigarettes that come in a black pack? (FTM, is there a brand of cigarettes that come in a pack with a 3.5mm headphone jack? I've had smokers try to talk to me while I was listening to podcasts.) Where do you guys keep your cellphones?
Does anybody know of a way to show smokers that I am not one of them before they waste their time and mine asking me for something I ain't got? ...other than reacting adversely to my sinuses itching; apparently, they consider that rude.
You don't look like a smoker and good for you!
Some nicotine addicts just don't give a shit and blow their noxious fumes at everyone. Fuck 'em.
As for the twerp, I think he was just drunk.