FA+
Shop
Happy Brithday To Meee
7 years ago
I wrote out this message yesterday, but I thought it would also make a good journal! So
It's my birthday!
I think part of the reason I like TF so much is that it speaks to my depression? When you suffer with mental health, it feels like you're not in control of your brain. Some days I wake up angry, some days endlessly sad, irritable or, on special, wonderful days..happy. Somedays Caudle wakes up a dragon, or a lizard, or a monkey or a mouse. Either way, no matter form or mood, it's still me.
I think that's important to remember and hold one's self accountable. I'm not in control of everything, but I'm in control of what I do regardless of what form things take. No matter how many legs, no matter how big, no matter how sad, no matter how bouncy, it's me, and I can control what I do.
It's been a grand year. I moved away from home, settled in with some wonderful friends, went out of the country for the first time to visit an amazing friend, met so many people at conventions and parties, started a website and youtube channel, I did so much!
At the same time though, I think I could do better, I've been slow on commissions, my writing muse has been fickle at best, motivation fleeting, notes an emails take days instead of hours to answer, and I occasionally get a bit distant. In the year to come, however, I'd like to be more like...me! More like Caudle, if I wake up with four legs, I need to walk anyway, if I fall out of bed as a snake, I need to get the hang of slithering, and no matter how I wake up, as a freelance writer, I need to sit down, and I need to write. No one signed up and gave me their confidence, and supported me with their funds to hear excuses. I've finished lots of commissions this year, written so many fun things. There's a backlog of stories finished and waiting to go up a mile long, but I Can Do Better I can be better.
I think birthdays are sometimes days where everyone says you're doing excellent and no one brings up flaws, but I think I want this one to be a fire under me to be the best version of myself. I'm away from home, I control my days, I can create what I want, and do what I wish. I have endless potential, and depression is not going to keep me laying in bed, stuck between 0 and 1. No matter how I wake up, I don't just want to walk, I want to run. I want to get published again, I wanna do so many Sage appointments to help comfort people, I wanna introduce people to audio dramas, I want to shake off the negative thoughts that plague me sometimes, and, to quote a lovely film, I want to try everything.
Let's go forwards, and in the next 365, take the good things of the previous and crank them up to eleven, because one of the things I did this year was finally play Undertale, and I am filled with DETERMINATION.
Because despite everything, every wonderful, saddening, glorious thing, it's still me.
It's my birthday!
I think part of the reason I like TF so much is that it speaks to my depression? When you suffer with mental health, it feels like you're not in control of your brain. Some days I wake up angry, some days endlessly sad, irritable or, on special, wonderful days..happy. Somedays Caudle wakes up a dragon, or a lizard, or a monkey or a mouse. Either way, no matter form or mood, it's still me.
I think that's important to remember and hold one's self accountable. I'm not in control of everything, but I'm in control of what I do regardless of what form things take. No matter how many legs, no matter how big, no matter how sad, no matter how bouncy, it's me, and I can control what I do.
It's been a grand year. I moved away from home, settled in with some wonderful friends, went out of the country for the first time to visit an amazing friend, met so many people at conventions and parties, started a website and youtube channel, I did so much!
At the same time though, I think I could do better, I've been slow on commissions, my writing muse has been fickle at best, motivation fleeting, notes an emails take days instead of hours to answer, and I occasionally get a bit distant. In the year to come, however, I'd like to be more like...me! More like Caudle, if I wake up with four legs, I need to walk anyway, if I fall out of bed as a snake, I need to get the hang of slithering, and no matter how I wake up, as a freelance writer, I need to sit down, and I need to write. No one signed up and gave me their confidence, and supported me with their funds to hear excuses. I've finished lots of commissions this year, written so many fun things. There's a backlog of stories finished and waiting to go up a mile long, but I Can Do Better I can be better.
I think birthdays are sometimes days where everyone says you're doing excellent and no one brings up flaws, but I think I want this one to be a fire under me to be the best version of myself. I'm away from home, I control my days, I can create what I want, and do what I wish. I have endless potential, and depression is not going to keep me laying in bed, stuck between 0 and 1. No matter how I wake up, I don't just want to walk, I want to run. I want to get published again, I wanna do so many Sage appointments to help comfort people, I wanna introduce people to audio dramas, I want to shake off the negative thoughts that plague me sometimes, and, to quote a lovely film, I want to try everything.
Let's go forwards, and in the next 365, take the good things of the previous and crank them up to eleven, because one of the things I did this year was finally play Undertale, and I am filled with DETERMINATION.
Because despite everything, every wonderful, saddening, glorious thing, it's still me.
And while you may feel as if you could have accomplished more this past year, your friends and fans are happy and thankful for what you have done.
It is always good to aspire to doing more and I certainly look forward to whatever comes next from you, but don't push yourself to the point of exhaustion.
Doing things just to boost the number of accomplishments will never compare to those accomplishments that you are genuinely excited about and proud of.
Being happy with what you do complete is far more important than merely getting a lot of things done.
So, work to being happy first and foremost, and the other accomplishments will make their way in as well.
Sincerely,
The Cheshire Cat's Master
For what it's worth I've been very impressed with your output this year! :D