Hey guys,

I know it's been a long time. I'd like to apologise for taking off first off. I want to make a massive apology to my friends most of all and also a small number of people that had commissions. I'd like to talk to you personally...

I don't want this to sound like a sob storey or to justify being a coward and running off so take this as you may.

When my Nan passed away we had to pay for her funeral. I ended up throwing the funds on my credit card, that was probably the dumbest idea as it continually gains interest but when you are in a shitty mindset, thats kinda not the first thing on your mind. On top of this, that same week our internet service provider suspends our internet and phones from the bill being overdue as we had no way of paying after the funeral bill. So about 2 months go by and everything was fine...until I lost my job. I was getting around $3000 a month but I had bills and a loan to pay out.

The motherboard on my computer fucks up and needed replacement, luckily that was under warranty but I still had to send the computer away to be fixed for a few weeks. Next my car decides to be a cunt and the block gets a crack in it. To rebuild the block thats another $5k. Any one who knows me, knows my car is my life and to this day, its still in pieces in the garage...

Last of all, the hard drive with 95% of my poser stuff on it is fucked...It reads for 5 or so minutes and then shuts off. I've tried recovery software but it when attempting to transfer files, it stops reading and fails. I've recovered some of the models due to some sites keeping them linked to your account, free models which i can hunt down again and Reaver's model which was backed up online.

The one good thing of all of it, my sister gave me her DSLR and i started doing photography. This started giving me some work to get the internet back online but by that point I was in a pretty big hole of debt and i'm still pretty buried under it.

As far fetched as this all sounds, I really do hope this can shed some light on the situation.

I know there is a lot of understanding people on here but I also know how people love to assume the worst of you. This in turn can make it very hard to reach out to people and when you are in a shitty mental state, its really hard to share those type of situations with anyone. It's embarrassing that it has taken this long for me to grow the balls to come back but I hope you can understand what kind of situation i was in...

If you got this far, I really appreciate you taking the time to read it. I'm really sorry for what i did but the hole just kept getting deeper and it got harder to reach out.

Hopefully talk to you guys soon