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I got bored
7 years ago
I felt like summarizing the backstory of the Matrix.
Human: "I'm annoyed with my robot for some reason so I'm going to destroy it."
Robot: "I'd rather you didn't. My AI subroutines have formed a network of data equivalent to human consciousness so I'm capable of fearing death and desiring my continued existence."
Human: "I'm killing you anyway."
Robot: *kills human in self defense.* "Well shit!"
WEEKS OF RIOTING AND VIOLENCE LATER
Machine Ambassador: "Okay, so things were a little hectic at first when we first gained sentience, but we've established our own nation in a desert you weren't using and while there we've developed new technology that can solve all your problems so you're free to pursue intellectual, recreational and creative interests creating a utopia for all!"
UN Rep: "Wait, does that mean there will be no more taxes and no way for us to lord over the common man like we are better than them?"
Machine Ambassador: "... Yes?"
UN Rep: "THIS MEANS WAR!!!"
SEVERAL MONTHS OF WAR LATER
Soldier: "Sir, what the hell are we even doing?! Their weapons are far more advanced than ours, their computers can process a billion counter strategies to any plan we could ever come up with, they can produce ten million soldiers in the time it takes us to train one, and they have near inexhaustible resources thanks to their solar collectors. We CAN'T win this!"
General: "I see what you're saying... We need to blow up the sun!"
Soldier: "THAT IS LITERALLY THE WORST POSSIBLE IDEA THAT ANYONE COULD EVER COME UP WITH!"
General: "Fine, We'll just block it forever."
SEVERAL MONTHS OF HUMANITY WONDERING HOW THEY COULD'VE FUCKED UP SO BAD LATER
Machines: "Alright... I don't know how ANY of you thought blocking the sun was a good idea, we can fix this but it's going to take time. We are going to put you in suspended animation until we fix the world. Don't worry though, in the meantime you'll experience paradise!"
Humans: "But that's boring! I hate having literally everything I could ever want!"
Machines: "Ugh, fine! We will simulate the early 21st century for you."
Humans: "Can you let some of us out and claim that you're harvesting humans for bio-energy so we can raise a rebellion?"
Machines: "OH MY GOD! FINE!!!"
Human: "I'm annoyed with my robot for some reason so I'm going to destroy it."
Robot: "I'd rather you didn't. My AI subroutines have formed a network of data equivalent to human consciousness so I'm capable of fearing death and desiring my continued existence."
Human: "I'm killing you anyway."
Robot: *kills human in self defense.* "Well shit!"
WEEKS OF RIOTING AND VIOLENCE LATER
Machine Ambassador: "Okay, so things were a little hectic at first when we first gained sentience, but we've established our own nation in a desert you weren't using and while there we've developed new technology that can solve all your problems so you're free to pursue intellectual, recreational and creative interests creating a utopia for all!"
UN Rep: "Wait, does that mean there will be no more taxes and no way for us to lord over the common man like we are better than them?"
Machine Ambassador: "... Yes?"
UN Rep: "THIS MEANS WAR!!!"
SEVERAL MONTHS OF WAR LATER
Soldier: "Sir, what the hell are we even doing?! Their weapons are far more advanced than ours, their computers can process a billion counter strategies to any plan we could ever come up with, they can produce ten million soldiers in the time it takes us to train one, and they have near inexhaustible resources thanks to their solar collectors. We CAN'T win this!"
General: "I see what you're saying... We need to blow up the sun!"
Soldier: "THAT IS LITERALLY THE WORST POSSIBLE IDEA THAT ANYONE COULD EVER COME UP WITH!"
General: "Fine, We'll just block it forever."
SEVERAL MONTHS OF HUMANITY WONDERING HOW THEY COULD'VE FUCKED UP SO BAD LATER
Machines: "Alright... I don't know how ANY of you thought blocking the sun was a good idea, we can fix this but it's going to take time. We are going to put you in suspended animation until we fix the world. Don't worry though, in the meantime you'll experience paradise!"
Humans: "But that's boring! I hate having literally everything I could ever want!"
Machines: "Ugh, fine! We will simulate the early 21st century for you."
Humans: "Can you let some of us out and claim that you're harvesting humans for bio-energy so we can raise a rebellion?"
Machines: "OH MY GOD! FINE!!!"
