Well here we are it’s come to this I have destroyed my life I might as well give it the killing blow and I’m not gonna tell any of my family this there’s no point I’m gonna tell you now that I am nothing an empty vessel as a kid I was the bully in school I know I was I’m not a good person dropped outta collage I tried to change but it doesn’t matter nothing matters I have got to be the biggest dissapointment of my family sure everyone smiles they smile they look at you and say they are proud where in all honesty they can’t be not when it’s this much of a mess up you know there was a story my family told me before I was born there was a third child but there was a miscarriage I always think of it I wonder can I trade places can it live the life that was sopposedly to be happy there always for my family Nd me just nothing I have been like this for years now I don’t know how long I’m hopeless I have done stupid and bad things I have screwd up so much I don’t know how many times it would be better for everyone mom dad grandparents they could sell everything I have live happily and not with this misery I have brought I love my family I love my friends but what have I ever done if there is one wish I keep thinking to myslef it’s if anything were to happen to me I just want to be burned and everyone forget me cuz there’s nothing here to remember just fat usless lazy no good piece of dirt that deserves everyone bad thing that could happen and to my family here the ones I care about I love you all and this is my fault maybe one day I can fix it so there you go the truth comes forth here is your coward just let me burn maybe some day I will be brave enough to do it. I just don’t care about my happiness all I ever wanted was to make others happy but I know I can’t even do that.



I’m sorry just needed to get that off my chest for a long time just scared and empty I won’t blame anyone for calling me stupid I already knew that for a long time just promise me whoever reads this just live find love be happy don’t be me. I’m just tired and been mad at myslef for a long time didn’t know what to say or where I want to scream out save me but I don’t think o deserve that. I’m sorry.