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A week of emotions and reflection
7 years ago
General
Welp this week has been something else for sure. So here's just a dude venting it out.
Not gonna get into the full details of things but to try and keep it short, parents got into a very heated argument, cops were involved (no one got hurt) and now...
My old man has been residing with me for the past few days.
What didn't help my mood is the current BS am dealing with work with an executive who could literally get away with murder in broad daylight and is trying everything in his power for me to get me fired so I am no longer able to apply for federal jobs.
Needless to say, as I found out about the argument, I wasn't thrilled about the situation at all. Didn't take it all too well at first and went off on my parents.
Made things a bit worse for me on that front.
But after cooling off trying to gather things and such, it's been alright so far...
Till got told yet again, I shouldn't "trust" anyone online and ought to do more RL
the main thing that got me though was this
"you should do what you want to do"
in all honesty? What I really like to do?
I want to draw silly characters, furries, sexy stuff, bondage and animate and get better at it... (doubt people would take notice but still want to try anyhow)
Pretty sure not something either of my parents want to hear at all.
It's hard enough for me because how hard I am on myself, and just seeing how others are able to draw and improve within a short time frame. I get jealous a bit but it also starts a small drive in me saying "Maybe I can do that"
I've been back and forth, and I don't see this "phase" as it's been called, leaving anytime soon.
I love kinky things, I enjoy seeing unique characters (Sharkcat, pokegirls, honeybee etc) and trying to come up with more.
But I suck at art, can't write all that well, and have been getting commissions to help my ideas and such.
despite my doubts and such, this led me to people who I am not afraid to call friends on here, despite not ever meeting them.
Granted there's always a chance that I may be foolish and said "person" is not real at all, especially giving a lot of money to others or getting a gift and asking nothing in return.
But it's who I am, granted it has changed me and I may not be who many think I am on here or in RL, but perhaps I can better myself from all this.
I still want to do art, kinky or fun, I want to make stories and worlds not the best at it by any means, but am willing to learn, wish I had a better support of it but nothing ever truly wanted is easy.
So... here's trying I guess.
If you've actually bothered to read all of this thank you.
Not gonna get into the full details of things but to try and keep it short, parents got into a very heated argument, cops were involved (no one got hurt) and now...
My old man has been residing with me for the past few days.
What didn't help my mood is the current BS am dealing with work with an executive who could literally get away with murder in broad daylight and is trying everything in his power for me to get me fired so I am no longer able to apply for federal jobs.
Needless to say, as I found out about the argument, I wasn't thrilled about the situation at all. Didn't take it all too well at first and went off on my parents.
Made things a bit worse for me on that front.
But after cooling off trying to gather things and such, it's been alright so far...
Till got told yet again, I shouldn't "trust" anyone online and ought to do more RL
the main thing that got me though was this
"you should do what you want to do"
in all honesty? What I really like to do?
I want to draw silly characters, furries, sexy stuff, bondage and animate and get better at it... (doubt people would take notice but still want to try anyhow)
Pretty sure not something either of my parents want to hear at all.
It's hard enough for me because how hard I am on myself, and just seeing how others are able to draw and improve within a short time frame. I get jealous a bit but it also starts a small drive in me saying "Maybe I can do that"
I've been back and forth, and I don't see this "phase" as it's been called, leaving anytime soon.
I love kinky things, I enjoy seeing unique characters (Sharkcat, pokegirls, honeybee etc) and trying to come up with more.
But I suck at art, can't write all that well, and have been getting commissions to help my ideas and such.
despite my doubts and such, this led me to people who I am not afraid to call friends on here, despite not ever meeting them.
Granted there's always a chance that I may be foolish and said "person" is not real at all, especially giving a lot of money to others or getting a gift and asking nothing in return.
But it's who I am, granted it has changed me and I may not be who many think I am on here or in RL, but perhaps I can better myself from all this.
I still want to do art, kinky or fun, I want to make stories and worlds not the best at it by any means, but am willing to learn, wish I had a better support of it but nothing ever truly wanted is easy.
So... here's trying I guess.
If you've actually bothered to read all of this thank you.
Secondly, life throws things at all of us. Just conquer all you can Leo, and know you have many friends who will support you and pick you up when you need it. The executive thing sucks, really does, and I wish that man could get his head out of his ass and realize he's the biggest fool ever, but then again, most business men are nothing but greedy idiots.
Chin up, floof on, and keep being the best you can Leo. You always have this floof to give you the Snugs <3
This "short time frame" that you talk about doesn't exist. Other people got as good as they are by practicing, day in and day out. They put in blood, sweat and tears. They had passion for their craft and they put the work in.
If you want to get that good, whining about how terrible you are and how much better everyone else is will do jack shit for you.
You wanna get better? Put in the work.