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I find myself in an uncomfortable emotional place
7 years ago
Take care of your friends.
I do not like Bret Kavanaugh for a Supreme court justice. I do not think religious rights or corporate rights should ever trump individual rights.
I am also an abuse survivor at the hands of a domestic partner and at the hands of my society. I did not recognize it as such at the time and I ask no redress for it now. Having said that, I am disturbed by the accusations recently aired against Bret Kavanaugh. Having been made they need to be addressed, and some people will be unhappy with any outcome that leaves the man able to walk the streets.
I get it.
It is all assault.
We are harmed by all of it.
We have also all been children once, and we do not hold children to the same standards that we hold adults too. We have held as a society, that mistakes made as a child should have consequences that do not cripple the adult we shall become. Going back thirty years into a person’s past and judging them by the standards we would apply to the adult they are today strikes me as both not fair and as a blow to many things we have been taught about this being a nation of law. We do not allow Ex Post Facto law in this country. Or at least that is what I was taught, and I thought that was still the law.
Was I wrong about that?
There is another concern that I have, and that is the way a week accusation that does not lead to the discovery of a pattern of misconduct can discredit many men who did something stupid rude and WRONG as children, and have as adults been the men we want them to be. Much more than that, I worry that we risk discrediting and devaluing the testimony of many more women who have been hurt, assaulted and more.
Now that we are beginning to look at sexual assault as the crime that it is, are we going to discredit that look with first, the idea that it is all rape or the idea that no blood no foul? If we treat it all as heinous rape, everything from not taking “no” for an answer to brutal physical assault with grievous bodily injury, then we make prosecution extremely difficult. We let men walk without consequence because we have no proportionality. No blood no foul is hardly any better. We are to close to that for well-positioned men who face little or no consequence for the first dozen accusations.
I opened by saying I am uncomfortable with this because I don’t have a well thought out answer beyond this.
1) All accusations should be investigated, quickly and discreetly Not zero tolerance that applies only to low paid employees.
2) No one is exempt not even managers or executives.
3) Consequences need to be fair, real and not window dressing.
4) Recognize that anyone can be hurt. They all deserve support and healing even when the offense can’t be prosecuted for whatever the reason.
I am also an abuse survivor at the hands of a domestic partner and at the hands of my society. I did not recognize it as such at the time and I ask no redress for it now. Having said that, I am disturbed by the accusations recently aired against Bret Kavanaugh. Having been made they need to be addressed, and some people will be unhappy with any outcome that leaves the man able to walk the streets.
I get it.
It is all assault.
We are harmed by all of it.
We have also all been children once, and we do not hold children to the same standards that we hold adults too. We have held as a society, that mistakes made as a child should have consequences that do not cripple the adult we shall become. Going back thirty years into a person’s past and judging them by the standards we would apply to the adult they are today strikes me as both not fair and as a blow to many things we have been taught about this being a nation of law. We do not allow Ex Post Facto law in this country. Or at least that is what I was taught, and I thought that was still the law.
Was I wrong about that?
There is another concern that I have, and that is the way a week accusation that does not lead to the discovery of a pattern of misconduct can discredit many men who did something stupid rude and WRONG as children, and have as adults been the men we want them to be. Much more than that, I worry that we risk discrediting and devaluing the testimony of many more women who have been hurt, assaulted and more.
Now that we are beginning to look at sexual assault as the crime that it is, are we going to discredit that look with first, the idea that it is all rape or the idea that no blood no foul? If we treat it all as heinous rape, everything from not taking “no” for an answer to brutal physical assault with grievous bodily injury, then we make prosecution extremely difficult. We let men walk without consequence because we have no proportionality. No blood no foul is hardly any better. We are to close to that for well-positioned men who face little or no consequence for the first dozen accusations.
I opened by saying I am uncomfortable with this because I don’t have a well thought out answer beyond this.
1) All accusations should be investigated, quickly and discreetly Not zero tolerance that applies only to low paid employees.
2) No one is exempt not even managers or executives.
3) Consequences need to be fair, real and not window dressing.
4) Recognize that anyone can be hurt. They all deserve support and healing even when the offense can’t be prosecuted for whatever the reason.
Harvey Weinstein is another good example... he just happened to push it way to far...
V.
V.
But a party is only as good as those who actively participate. They aren't some function from on-high, some source of endless funding or power. They're just people.
Either way, without voting, being engaged, it doesn't matter. A party can't do or be anything without people participating.
V.