When I was a young tiger, I always went for the brooding buffs. The aloof, morally compromised antihero who deep down had a heart of gold, but you had to wade through a gruff attitude and a lot of machismo to get to it. Characters like Wolverine, Sabertooth, Batman, The Incredible Hulk, Hellboy, and even Viktor from Lackadaisy Cats were figures who appealed my teenage sense of rebellion and my desire to appear cool in the eyes of others, and their tall, chiseled, muscular physiques were an added bonus as I slowly accepted that I liked the D.

As you not doubt have guessed, I used this mold when creating my OC, Jaroq.

Being a skinny, awkward, and pretty reclusive teenager, I had this strange love/hate relationship with the jocks who ruled my high school. Though I was never really bullied (aside from some teasing), I really hated their arrogance, their entitlement, and the stupid way they all strived to be cooler or bigger or stronger than their peers. But at the same time, I really admired their confidence, their drive to improve themselves in the gym, and of course, their powerful bodies. I spoke to them only when I had to (in a group project or to ask them to move so I could get to my locker), yet I often stared at the biceps filling out their sleeves, wondering what it must be like to touch them.

During junior year, I would follow this particularly huge senior (who, no lie, competed in junior bodybuilding competitions) around the halls, trying to muster enough courage to talk to him and then chickening out when several of his friends joined him. The only words I ever got out were asking him to sign my yearbook on the last day of school. It wasn’t until senior year when I had a guy on the football and wrestling team in my AP English class that I began to drop the stereotype I had held for so long.

I’m sure this was real unhealthy for me, but I can’t be the only one with this experience: hating something and being attracted to it simultaneously.

In the first few years upon accepting my sexuality, I really only liked one type of guy. When searching for porn, I wanted them young, super shredded, and hairless with a cocky demeanor to match their huge cock. When I drew furry art, the characters had to have six-pack abs and every oblique muscle needed to be visible. When I wrote fanfic or my own stories, they needed to be lurking in dark alleyways or a grimy basement gym with the physique or two or three pro bodybuilders at just 25. They needed to be loners with a distrust of authority, just like me. Only in rare cases would I save a jpg of a muscleman with a beard or body hair (why cover all that muscle?) or a character with even the slightest belly (abs all the way).

Then something funny happened. I found myself slowly drifting away from the edgelord, antihero stock characters and toward characters that were…well…friendlier. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always have a soft spot for the gigantic, strong-but-silent grumps, but it gradually dawned on me how much that boxes you in. There’s only so much you can do with that type. Instead, I became more fascinated when similar characters would have to open themselves up to others and show compassion like Kimahri Ronso in Final Fantasy X or Mercenary in Grimoire of Zero. Something about towering muscle beasts having to take care of someone smaller and weaker than themselves really appeals to me. It’s kind of cute.

Now it wasn’t enough for a strongman to look cool and sexy anymore: they had to have dimension. I must have been getting sick of cynicism and disillusionment because I started seeking out characters who were friendly right up front, who didn’t force you to dig through the machismo to get to it. I’ll call them wholesome dads.

They’re not always older men, but their personality is more mature: they’re confident but not arrogant, they’re nurturing but not patronizing, they’re responsible but still now how to let loose, they have enough self-control to let petty arguments slide but if you cross that line, don’t think for a moment that they can’t or won’t lift your car off the ground and rip it in two. They still train in the gym and keep up appearances, but there are more important things to them than pushing their biceps one inch bigger than their peers. They still have a rampant sex drive, but don’t feel the need to tell everyone in town about it. Everything isn’t a dick-measuring contest with them.

They use their immense strength to protect instead of for status. They’re providers. Instead of thinking what you can do for them, they just want to make you the best version of yourself. They’re not after recognition (though they don’t mind some muscle worship in the bedroom), they just appreciate having you around. Wholesome dads don’t fret about looking like a sissy because they’re man enough to wear a pink shirt, a shirt that their gigantic pecs and shoulders stretch out in no time. They have no problem going trick-or-treating with their daughter on Halloween and wearing the Little Red Riding Hood costume when their daughter wants to go as the wolf: https://am22.akamaized.net/tms/cnt/.....rG-410x550.jpg

Maybe it’s just among the people I follow and the communities I take part in, but I’m seeing more appreciation for “daddies” of late. New characters like Lin Hu, Arslan, and Asgore (when he’s not murdering children, of course) are joining wholesome dads like Mufasa and Tony the Tiger. When Dream Daddy came out, everybody seemed to latch onto the bearish, thick-set dad, Brian, and nowadays half the fanart I see of Bowser is in his role as a father.

Along with the personality change, my preferences for a guy’s physique started to broaden – both literally and figuratively. I still don’t like fat rolls, sagging body parts, or fupas, but I’m coming around to bellies whether it’s just a little pudge in the offseason, a swollen muscle gut, or a big jolly tummy. They just have to have an equal portion of muscle to balance it out. Likewise, I used to hate body hair, beards, and stubble; now I kind of like it in reasonable amounts (funny coming from a furry, I know).

How did this change happen? Maybe I grew up. Maybe my taste in men matured along with my personality. Maybe I learned to give other kinks a chance. Maybe I just got bored confining myself to one stock of characters. However it happened, it happened gradually and without me really noticing until recently. I haven’t sworn off the buff badasses, of course. I love my Sabertoothes, my Hellboys, and my Hulks; I just find that I like this other character type, too. The same goes for the men who in my eyes fall between those two types (I think Beast from X-Men and Goliath from Gargoyles are a good medium between the brooding antiheros and wholesome dads).

I realize these characterizations are real broad, and I’m sure each of these men have their own complexities that defy easy categories. I just wanted to simply it for the sake of argument.

But what about you? Have you found your preferences changing over time? Why do you think that is? Have you noticed more attention on daddies? Let me know.