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An issue I need to address
7 years ago
" Will their GREED destroy me....."
Hello all my lovelies,
So I just wanted to make this journal to explain something to you all. Especially for all the people that have me in Discord. I DISAPPEAR!!!!
I dont really mean to fall of the map from time to time and if you haven't heard from me in a few days PLEASE dont stress, it is not something you did at all, I love talking to all of you TRULY I do.
You see, when I was growing up, from the ages of 4 to 11 my father's 1st wife would physically and mentally abuse me. Because of this I wasn't allowed (nor did I want) to have people over. I was ashamed of how I was treated and I always thought it was my fault. I was this horrible thing and thats why the women who was meant to be a mother figure to me treated me so poorly. After my dad found out that the "Wicked Witch of the West" was cheating on him he left..... and then only waited a year before dating then marring her best friend. I thought she would be better but the saying birds of a feather stick together rings VERY true in this case. She was WORSE then the 1st wife and completely ruined what little bit of self-esteem I had left. And from there the abuse never stopped, After she was gone my dad was sooo fucked up from all the wives that he too took his shit out on me, then my ONLY two really friends would use me as well. I never felt worthy of anything.
Please dont feel sorry for me this was years ago now, but being alone all the time is the only way I got through things. It was the only way I didnt get hurt. Sitting in my room reading or drawing by myself was just how I lived my life from the age of 4. Im just telling you all this because I want you all to understand where Im coming from, when I say I forget to reach out and speak to others. I mean really I FORGET, that their are those out there who care if I dont log on and speak to them.
And Thank you all to those friends that I have found on here and out in the world that have stayed around still enjoy talking with me when I do log on. I adore you all sooooo much You have no idea! All I ask is that you please bare with me and my ghost act, I dont do it on purpose, and please never thing it was anything you did. You are all wonderful people!
Im trying very hard to get online more and more. To be LESS antisocial. But its a working progress.
Well thank you all for listening to my wild story and I hope you all have a Blessed day ^^
So I just wanted to make this journal to explain something to you all. Especially for all the people that have me in Discord. I DISAPPEAR!!!!
I dont really mean to fall of the map from time to time and if you haven't heard from me in a few days PLEASE dont stress, it is not something you did at all, I love talking to all of you TRULY I do.
You see, when I was growing up, from the ages of 4 to 11 my father's 1st wife would physically and mentally abuse me. Because of this I wasn't allowed (nor did I want) to have people over. I was ashamed of how I was treated and I always thought it was my fault. I was this horrible thing and thats why the women who was meant to be a mother figure to me treated me so poorly. After my dad found out that the "Wicked Witch of the West" was cheating on him he left..... and then only waited a year before dating then marring her best friend. I thought she would be better but the saying birds of a feather stick together rings VERY true in this case. She was WORSE then the 1st wife and completely ruined what little bit of self-esteem I had left. And from there the abuse never stopped, After she was gone my dad was sooo fucked up from all the wives that he too took his shit out on me, then my ONLY two really friends would use me as well. I never felt worthy of anything.
Please dont feel sorry for me this was years ago now, but being alone all the time is the only way I got through things. It was the only way I didnt get hurt. Sitting in my room reading or drawing by myself was just how I lived my life from the age of 4. Im just telling you all this because I want you all to understand where Im coming from, when I say I forget to reach out and speak to others. I mean really I FORGET, that their are those out there who care if I dont log on and speak to them.
And Thank you all to those friends that I have found on here and out in the world that have stayed around still enjoy talking with me when I do log on. I adore you all sooooo much You have no idea! All I ask is that you please bare with me and my ghost act, I dont do it on purpose, and please never thing it was anything you did. You are all wonderful people!
Im trying very hard to get online more and more. To be LESS antisocial. But its a working progress.
Well thank you all for listening to my wild story and I hope you all have a Blessed day ^^
Also, thank you. ♥ I have a lot of people to thank for helping me achieve what I have with hir.
Accidentally said along instead of alone.