My dad has been sick on and off for a few years now. He had been in and out of the hospitals for awhile. His heart finally had enough and on Nov. 1st he passed away. He is not suffering anymore or living a crappy life in his bed at home, not being able to leave or do the things he once loved. The hardest part is that he was only 61. He should have had years left. Years to spend with his grandsons, years to take us all camping and fishing up in 1000 Islands, which is where he always wanted to be.

I had never been super close to him, but in these last few years before he got sick we were both coming closer and I am glad for that and the time I got to spend with him in the hospital chatting a few days before he passed. Only time can heal us all now. Family is important and sometimes taken for granted, you don't realize it until they are gone and then its too late.

I skipped Fupoc this year because of Dad being ill and I am glad I did because it gave me a few more days with him. But now that he is gone and I am trying to recoup I have decided to still go to MFF and be a giant fluffy Hyena for a few days to help myself heal. Things need to start to feel real again to me at some point. I just need this weekend to go into my alternate world and forget things if only a short time.