I know, it's been a VERY long time since I've posted anything, journal or submission, or anything of the like. And I finally feel like I'm able to type out a sort of overdue explanation as to the whys.

Long story short, depression. Whether I have my head buried into a game, watching Youtube, or trying to deal with other matters, it always tends to boil down to depression. I'm a highly introverted creature. I don't tend to nudge people too often unless if it feels like a better day than most, but I often struggle with emotional issues when I'm not being plagued with health problems. It makes it terribly difficult to feel happy, or excited, or joyous, or any other good emotion that most folks seem to take for granted. And that's a bleak outlook that I just try my best not to plague people with. The last thing I want to do is to bring anyone else down with me, so I tend to stay isolated most of the time, lurking in the background unless if someone nudges me directly.

I'm not saying I'm giving up on FA or anything. It's just been very hard to really, effectively, come up with any sort of creative need to continue writing. Plus, looking on my past works, it's evident I'm not exactly the best or most original writer, either, and I feel like folks that actually take the time to read through stories should be rewarded with better writing than I've put out in the past. I'll still be right here, right where I've always been, but until I feel better, it's probably best to put my existing writing on hold.

Real-life matters have also kept me distracted too. As some of my more recent contacts know, I moved over the past month (again), and it's been taking a lot to adjust. And for those who have known me personally for a very long time know, I have gone through a lot of difficult and arduous issues, trials, and challenges in the past decade. I'm still alive, still kickin', but it's all just been very hard to come to terms with, and it seems like more recently, all those years of bouncing around like a nomad, even to the point of homelessness, has finally caught up with me in terms of health. I'm not as energetic, spry, or thick-skinned as I used to be, and I just am sorry for letting that keep me from realizing my creative potential in recent months.

All 'n all, I'll still be right here, loving each and every one of you that has supported me with love, friendship, and compassion through thick and thin. That won't change. And I'm just terribly sorry for being so quiet with some of you.... It's nothing personal. I just have great difficulty breaking out of my shell, some days. And sorry for the winding rant this may come to look like.

Sheep loves you all.
- Sydney