I have Autism.

And I do not know how to slow down on Local Roads when driving. That of course means I could easily get into an Accident or a situation where I would have to pay an absorbent amount of money I do not have. Or Death.

And a lot of people I know, ones very close to me like Family, get under my skin. All The Time.

And sometimes, it becomes hard to just hold it all in because I want to scream like a 8 year old.

Interestingly, I should also admit that I am not the most perfect human being on the Planet.

But then....

I also realize that the minute I want to open my mouth and scream, I will look like the fool. Because whenever someone tells me how to do something, that is because they are trying to HELP me, not HARM me. Unfortunately, my skull is pretty damn thick. Saying "I understand" when clearly I DON'T is now second nature to me, like breathing or good manners. So really, I end up feeling worse at the end of the day, like venom and vomit have poured into my mouth, and make me even lose my appetite.

It is not easy to keep going, and I am forced to anyway, because the illusion of choice does not exist. Never has.

I am not sure if I am upset with others, or myself. And surprise, I only have myself. I cannot change others. But I can change myself. If I have to slow down on local roads, then that needs to happen, and I will work on it. Show that I am working on it, and NOT saying I am going to.

Right now, I needed to vent. And this is enough.