My Year Review 2018, whats been happening.

I don't often write journals, that's normally because I don't have time or motivation at times to get done with various update.
But after long time with a lot of thoughts I thought I can clear the air a bit of that has been happening to me in the past year, why I have been most quiet in various chats on discord and telegram groups as well as my absences with updates on Twitter and Facebook.
Lets Start at the beginning.

Whole things started actually before last year, it probably was not the easiest for starters I have lost my uncle quite suddenly after having a heart atteck, this a my first blow to me as he was not only my uncle but also my god father as well who he and my auntie did look after me for a short period of time.
Not long afterwards after Scotiacon I then heard another shock devastating news, when my friend and convention drinking buddy Lycan also passed away after loosing his battle with brain tumour.
This has not been easy loosing two close to me in the short space of time.
Also during that time, things been really difficult with my work as I not only been struggling but also been working a lot of hours.

As the new year started I tried to make a promise myself to try to go out more going to more meets, but sadly this failed to materialised as unfortunately once again work took hold working more hours and even letting many people down inn the process.
However just I thought I managed to make my way, and even pushed few things to one side to finally go out to Birmingham fur meet with intention of finally having that void to fill didn't came to be as half way down, I found out it wasn't go to happen after seeing that particular status change.
This brought another Devastating blow as I may have lost a good chance. This only started to accelerate my decline of my state of mind.
But from that however there was a flicker of chance as I came across someone else so kept on tabs for a while.

Then came JFTW, things always go well for me at cons give me a chance to forget about things in general, also confuzzled been pretty good even though it had been ridiculously hot, as was Following Furstival.

Convention wise things been well, but home and work wise outside of this things been not great as I slipped into my own relapse of depression, I been keeping mostly myself to myself lurking in chats while trying to wind down when I got a chance.
But then this got compounded worse I I once again due to me being unable toi come to several meets that I promised but failed to get their mostly because of work, I lost another chance, but this time was made worst as I maybe was my last chance.

On top of this during the summer, I then lost a third person within the year as my Grandad as passed away

This basically brought me to the tipping point.....which eventually I went over after coming home one day to see my home mad a mass moth invasion, that I had to spend a next two weeks fumigating and clearing everything out of my flat to make sure its liveable again, although during the process...although so few known about it as I only told a coupled of close friends I had a complete Mental Breakdown, to the point I was unable to bring myself out for a couple of days.

Eventually I got better for a while, but this didnt stop my issues completely as I got stuck in a cycle working long ours ubale to get to as many meat or visiting anyone for a while.

Things didnt start to get better until Scotiacion, by that point things started to calm down. Where things started to settle down, helped that scotiacon to me a relaxing end of year furry con to make me forget about things.

A month later, it was a a convention that changed everything, where I ended up going to Midwest Furfest where I went there with  Tokky and  Acewolf-G Where we had a fantastic time there.
But MFF was more than just a con for me, especially when I Finally met  Zuruikitsune after knowing each other for over a decade, this certainly was very emotional for me as it took so long with highs and lows before we finally met as we been so close at heart for soo long.
Also along the way I finally met other furs there who I am close friends, finally meeting the likes of  Furian,  nikorokumitsero (Aleu) and of course  estobhan (Erin) Who certainly made it a a wonderful experience of me to the point its creating me a dilemma as I really want to go to MFF again ideally sooner rather than later

This certainly gradually making me feel better but im a long away of, im hoping 2019 will bring huge much needed changes I need to have a better year.

Sorry if I made one of those “depressive....ish” post but I had not being able to truly open up to anyone of my feeling its something I needed explaining to get everything of my chest. To explain why I been quiet and everything ii hope you all forgive me ;_;