I know most likely no one or almost no one will read this, but lately I have been through a terrible depression and almost taking actions against my health/life.

Even when I have a wonderful boyfriend, my family keeps making me feel like I do not matter, that it would be better if I just...where gone of this life and my own mind doesn´t help me either.

Yeah, I know I need professional help and most likely some medicine, but I have no money to pay either of them.

Yeah...I hate that I just want to end it all, to cry almost everynight to sleep, to keep smilling for others and feeling each time more and more broken, more useless...

Maybe writting this down might help me a little bit, because...is better than the other options.