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The wait to get accepted into college is agonizing
7 years ago
[TW: Depression, suicide]
I'm trying to get into Georgia State University right now, making this my fifth attempt at getting into college. I've been accepted three times (officially two, but I was as good as accepted on the other one), but I've had to cancel my enrollment each time because I couldn't get the money.
The first time was Ball State University, it would've cost me $21,000 per year, and I could only get an $800 scholarship, plus the $5500 I got from FAFSA ($3500 of which I'd have had to pay back). The thought of being that much in debt from just my first year alone terrified me, so I canceled my enrollment.
The second time was University of South Florida, I think? It doesn't really matter because I didn't get accepted anyway.
The third time was a university in Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan that had classes in English. With ALL living expenses included (tuition, rent, food, transportation, etc.), the cost of getting a bachelor's from that university (which would've only taken 3 years there) would've been $62,000, give or take a couple thousand. That's about $20,000 less than tuition ALONE at Ball State. I had to get tons of paperwork rounded up for the college, including a letter of recommendation from a high school teacher (and I had been graduated for 3 years by this point). I was *almost* guaranteed enrollment if I could get loans to attend. But no one would loan to someone leaving the country for school, and I couldn't find a way to get loans from Japanese banks. So I canceled my enrollment process.
The fourth time... this one really hurt. It was Full Sail. I had been accepted. I had taken the introductory classes already. My laptop would be coming the month after. I was ALREADY A STUDENT. I was a month away from the official start of term, and Full Sail told me to start looking for loans. I hit up 8. Different. Lenders. And not one of them would loan me $10,000/yr without a cosigner, despite the fact that the only way you can default on student loans is if you fucking die. And my parents weren't willing to cosign a total of $40,000. So, I had to cancel my enrollment, two WEEKS away from the first day of the semester. That nearly drove me to... let's just say I tried to call a certain hotline.
And now here I am, waiting on a response from GSU. And it's almost unbearable. This is the cheapest university that I've ever seen in the US (with tuition comparable to that university in Sapporo), with a degree program that would actually benefit me more than what I went for previously. I don't know what I'll do if I don't get accepted. I'm honestly terrified of what I'll do if I find a rejection letter in my mailbox. Will that be the thing that sends me over the edge? I don't know, and I don't want to find out.
I'm trying to get into Georgia State University right now, making this my fifth attempt at getting into college. I've been accepted three times (officially two, but I was as good as accepted on the other one), but I've had to cancel my enrollment each time because I couldn't get the money.
The first time was Ball State University, it would've cost me $21,000 per year, and I could only get an $800 scholarship, plus the $5500 I got from FAFSA ($3500 of which I'd have had to pay back). The thought of being that much in debt from just my first year alone terrified me, so I canceled my enrollment.
The second time was University of South Florida, I think? It doesn't really matter because I didn't get accepted anyway.
The third time was a university in Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan that had classes in English. With ALL living expenses included (tuition, rent, food, transportation, etc.), the cost of getting a bachelor's from that university (which would've only taken 3 years there) would've been $62,000, give or take a couple thousand. That's about $20,000 less than tuition ALONE at Ball State. I had to get tons of paperwork rounded up for the college, including a letter of recommendation from a high school teacher (and I had been graduated for 3 years by this point). I was *almost* guaranteed enrollment if I could get loans to attend. But no one would loan to someone leaving the country for school, and I couldn't find a way to get loans from Japanese banks. So I canceled my enrollment process.
The fourth time... this one really hurt. It was Full Sail. I had been accepted. I had taken the introductory classes already. My laptop would be coming the month after. I was ALREADY A STUDENT. I was a month away from the official start of term, and Full Sail told me to start looking for loans. I hit up 8. Different. Lenders. And not one of them would loan me $10,000/yr without a cosigner, despite the fact that the only way you can default on student loans is if you fucking die. And my parents weren't willing to cosign a total of $40,000. So, I had to cancel my enrollment, two WEEKS away from the first day of the semester. That nearly drove me to... let's just say I tried to call a certain hotline.
And now here I am, waiting on a response from GSU. And it's almost unbearable. This is the cheapest university that I've ever seen in the US (with tuition comparable to that university in Sapporo), with a degree program that would actually benefit me more than what I went for previously. I don't know what I'll do if I don't get accepted. I'm honestly terrified of what I'll do if I find a rejection letter in my mailbox. Will that be the thing that sends me over the edge? I don't know, and I don't want to find out.
I just need to get in. That's all I need to do now. And I'm worried because it seems like I always get the rug pulled out from under me at the very last moment when it comes to college.
I applied to the Perimeter campus, naturally.
College/University is hard, and I hope that it'll work out for you and you can achieve your dream. *hugs*