I just don't know really what to say anymore...

Why am I constantly getting this horrible, unwanted feeling of being seen as an outcast and no matter how hard I try to drill it out, it keeps coming back. I need to get some sort of help somehow soon. I have even had trouble sleeping for the past few days as I was also a bit sick and down as I tried to distract myself with videos. Hence Insomnia at its worst. The best I can do now is hope that I can sleep on to avoid waking up to seeing the brutal world.

Why am I posting these things?

Update: Sorry for posting these things. As much as I want to break this chain and seek support advice, I also need to see a licensed professional.