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Issues and Problems
6 years ago
Hi... I don't know how to talk about my problems.
Think others have noticed how I'm usually sad or i had these moments where I'm not happy and people worry. I know it's getting old. I am tired of it all myself.
No i'm not having one of those moments... I just thought i'd fill you all in on some of the troubles... instead of keeping it all to myself.
I've been a victim of emotional and social abuse for as long as I can remember. I've never fit in, always too friendly, always too energetic and bouncy at times. I've been called names, told things I'd rather not repeat, bullied and physically abused by others
At home I am subject to similar treatment, not as often, but similar in all respects. It's been something I've been subject to forever, very little changes over time.
Recently It's been worse, my life is reaching a critical turn and I'm doing my best to handle it all. I've been under so much continuous stress that it's caused me to malfunction in so many ways... I've never been diagnosed but I believe I've been chronically and sometimes clinically depressed for the better portion of 5-6 years now and I've tried to hide it and handle it on my own.
I'm getting help and I've been reclusive in doing so for myself. I don't mean to make it look like I don't care or my priorities have shifted or anything. It's just... So hard to keep up when all I want to think about is how much I don't feel worthy of being anyone's friend or even having the faintest voice that tells me "They don't really like you, they're just saying that because you have a cute character." or "You'll never be truly liked, there are so many better people out there" or "Why do you even try? You'll never be accepted". I dunno. I'm not well I guess.
I hope you all are having a good 2019. So far it's like running through a giant pool filled with cement. The deeper i get submerged, the harder it is for me to move and breath. But I still fight, I've been doing it all my life, I'm a big boy X3
I just hope you'll all be patient and wait for me. I know I've been asking for quite a while... but I'm just not there yet. I'll catch up. Promise.
Think others have noticed how I'm usually sad or i had these moments where I'm not happy and people worry. I know it's getting old. I am tired of it all myself.
No i'm not having one of those moments... I just thought i'd fill you all in on some of the troubles... instead of keeping it all to myself.
I've been a victim of emotional and social abuse for as long as I can remember. I've never fit in, always too friendly, always too energetic and bouncy at times. I've been called names, told things I'd rather not repeat, bullied and physically abused by others
At home I am subject to similar treatment, not as often, but similar in all respects. It's been something I've been subject to forever, very little changes over time.
Recently It's been worse, my life is reaching a critical turn and I'm doing my best to handle it all. I've been under so much continuous stress that it's caused me to malfunction in so many ways... I've never been diagnosed but I believe I've been chronically and sometimes clinically depressed for the better portion of 5-6 years now and I've tried to hide it and handle it on my own.
I'm getting help and I've been reclusive in doing so for myself. I don't mean to make it look like I don't care or my priorities have shifted or anything. It's just... So hard to keep up when all I want to think about is how much I don't feel worthy of being anyone's friend or even having the faintest voice that tells me "They don't really like you, they're just saying that because you have a cute character." or "You'll never be truly liked, there are so many better people out there" or "Why do you even try? You'll never be accepted". I dunno. I'm not well I guess.
I hope you all are having a good 2019. So far it's like running through a giant pool filled with cement. The deeper i get submerged, the harder it is for me to move and breath. But I still fight, I've been doing it all my life, I'm a big boy X3
I just hope you'll all be patient and wait for me. I know I've been asking for quite a while... but I'm just not there yet. I'll catch up. Promise.
Stay strong .