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Should I quit? (Train of thoughts)
6 years ago
The reason why I do what I did here is out of desperation, anger, and hate. To me it is a quick cash grab in order to escape my current problems. I wasn't ashamed of doing this because I had a long and hard thinking if I really wanted to start doing what I've been doing all this work. And I was thinking; hell if im starting doing this, why not go all the way? I know that if I do a constant workload, I can achieve to where I want to be.
What driven me to start doing what I do is the same emotion what I feel when I work on these works. Every works are fueled with negative emotion, but it doesn't mean I hate them. It is a sin but at the same time, I put my sweat, tears, and blood in all of my works. Which is why I don't hate my previous works, I just hate doing it. In fact I was pleasantly surprised how much I've learn and improved from 1 work to another. I always wanted to do animation so I got that done even though in very unpredictable way. I just cant show off my work professionally to the public. Animation is actually pretty fun and I would love to do more.
The problem is I am not proud of what I am doing. It is against everything I believe, my morale, ethics, and principles. I feel like I am part of the source of the problem. I exploited basic human needs and fantasy to earn a living. I feel like I am a huge hypocrite. What I earn is dirty money. I don't know what to do.
What driven me to start doing what I do is the same emotion what I feel when I work on these works. Every works are fueled with negative emotion, but it doesn't mean I hate them. It is a sin but at the same time, I put my sweat, tears, and blood in all of my works. Which is why I don't hate my previous works, I just hate doing it. In fact I was pleasantly surprised how much I've learn and improved from 1 work to another. I always wanted to do animation so I got that done even though in very unpredictable way. I just cant show off my work professionally to the public. Animation is actually pretty fun and I would love to do more.
The problem is I am not proud of what I am doing. It is against everything I believe, my morale, ethics, and principles. I feel like I am part of the source of the problem. I exploited basic human needs and fantasy to earn a living. I feel like I am a huge hypocrite. What I earn is dirty money. I don't know what to do.
List can go on....
i've been struggling with the "morals" of art too. Every time i check my messages and/or browse other artists, all i see is porn. it feels like the only artwork that gets any traffic and viewership. Honestly, i don't want to be a part of it. i don't want "porn" to define who i am or what i do -and frankly, i don't like thinking about who i'm attracting to my art. i want to write stories for adults, not porn for (what i can only assume are) horny "children". Unfortunately, you can't chose your viewers or their tastes and you can't control how you or your art is judged by others. The irony is that i'm actually NOT a horndog and i take offense if/when i'm judged to be one. The majority of popular furry porn makes me cringe! There's no genuine story, love or romance to it; it's just girls (and bois) looking to get fucked! -which again- i understand. i get it.
i just don't like it.
Maybe you should transition to something more original and story centered. Write something. Draw something wholesome. Your animation skills have certainly improved and there's way more you could be doing with that talent! Even if you want to keep it simple, try animating some walk cycles, romantic scenes between characters, dynamic combat, practice lip syncing, etc. Make 'em as suggestive and/or sexy as you want. Dial back the poontang a little and work on something else to balance out your portfolio. if you want to make money, animate custom icons, profile images, YCHs and even simple 3-4 frame animations for a modest fee.
You can still be a sexy artist with all the attention and earnings without bearing it all!
I would have no problem at all if I do something more wholesome without these hentai - I would love to explore more with things I've learnt!
I wasn't desperate of money, I was desperate to get out of my situations. So far through my journey I've meet some ppl, shared my problems, and some are kind enough to lend a hand to me. I am extremely grateful and I don't feel that I am alone anymore. I'm still dealing with my problems but all is well and I am taking 1 step at a time. For the first time I felt that everything is going to be alright
But totally do whatever makes you happy!
We all appreciate your art whether its nsfw or sfw
Look forward to seeing whatever you come up with, you got my patreon pledge :3
You're my #1 fav person<3
When I said that "I want to quit" - means I'm going to go back to my 'original' persona, focus on artwork I've work so far and shut down patreon like 'inkeink' doesn't exist anymore
Thank you and Im no longer think that all I did are a wasted effort
I'd recommend you watch this video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRbnws-zITg
Whatever is it you're doing now, I hope you're enjoying yourself.