Just needing to vent about everything so I guess I'll do it here. Finally had the perfect job for me. Could have afforded to live decently and it kept me active which helped me lose weight and helped with my CPPS which I've been struggling with for 3 years now with out any real progress. I'm so tired of it. Feeling like I'm never going to get better. Just constant discomfort and pain and a ruined sex drive from it. So now I'm back home looking for work. Thought I had a good chance at a merchandiser job that paid well too, but apparently I'm not qualified to stack chips even. I don't have insurance anymore and I can't afford my antidepressants anymore until I get work. They're like 300 a month. I think I need to finish my degree in the fall but I don't even know how I'm supposed to live while I do that. The despair and anxiety is really getting to me. I don't know. Like I said, it's all really getting to me. Just I can feel everything I once liked about myself is deteriorating or already gone. My creativity? Gone. My ambition? Gone. My confidence? Gone. My hair? Going. My memory? Almost gone. Just not much left and definitely not much of value to anyone. I just hope something good happens soon cause I don't think I can just work some job that doesn't pay enough to live as I just waste away. I'm very scared.