Hey, guys. I wanted to make a Journal Entry that'll tell you why I haven't been very active lately. I'm still dealing with my GED, but I am almost done, I just need the motivation to actually make a big step towards getting my diploma, and I'm currently trying to find it. But I've been feeling down when I go to school, like, whenever I go to school, I usually feel "Meh" or "-_-" when I'm there. And I'm slowing down too, which is annoying because I want to actually work hard. And my parents (almost) asks if I made any progress daily. And sometimes, when I don't go to school, I get scared to answer, but there are reason why I don't go. And even the school gave me the option to go or not, and I don't take that option for granted.

I was also dealing with financial problems when I started getting overdraft fees, which wrecked my bank account horribly. I'm getting my money back, but before, I had to pawn games at GameStop to get some money to help myself. And now, about my job, after working for almost a week because of Valentine's Day, I had a decent paycheck, and was able to get one half of my money back, but I had to pay my mom $50 for my phone bill. And yes, my mom said that I have to pay her $50 each payday. To be honest, it's unfair, but my older sister does it, but she gets paid more than I do, and I'm currently working on Minimum Wage. So it's tough... >~<;

Also, my relationship with my dad is getting a lot better, but my relationship with my mom sometimes is very bad. We would have arguments, but compared to the arguments that me and my dad use to have, the arguments between me and my mom are a lot worse. Like, before, when my mom asked in a straightforward way if I had the $50 for her, but, I mistakenly, (and didn't want to), remembered her constantly talking about the $500 for my other laptop, and things went sideways. To the point where my mom kept yelling at me, "What's wrong with you?!", and "There's something wrong with you!". I told her that I hated it when she said that, but she repeated, "There's something wrong with you!". And when I told her again, (even though I shouldn't have), she said, "Who cares?!" She didn't seem to care. And after that, that made my self-esteem hit rock bottom. I started to have thoughts of self-hatred, feeling worthless, and I was heavily depressed, more depressed than I have ever been. And that was when I gave up trying to express to my mom. She doesn't care... :(

Also, I lost 3 friends. The first one took advantage of all of my help when I wanted to help him when he was having hard times, the second one was upset and didn't like how positive I am, my personality, and who I am, and the third one didn't, and couldn't accept the fact that I don't like yiff and lewd topics. But I guess you can say, "They weren't your friends in the first place anyway." Yeah...I know...

But...yeah. It's been very rough lately. That's why I haven't been very active. And for that, I apologize. I hope that I'll be able to relax, and things will get better for me.