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The April Cycle.
6 years ago
In 1988, I gained entry into a fannish publication, entitled "The Centaurs Gatherum Newsletter", edited by Ed Pegg Jr. It was an artistic amateur press, digest sized, focused on Centaurs. being an old D&D player, as well as an artist, Centaurs were not a new subject for me. What was new to me, was the good matured ribbing between the artist, and soon blossomed into what then mutated into"The Barr Wars" (Named after artist, Donna Barr, who was a fairly prolific instigator, as well as being known for her Centaur Stories). This went on for a few years, but April was a special month in that for some odd reason, many of the artists in that magazine had birthdays in April, Myself included. So in those years I would draw "Happy the Birthday Dog", a very cartoonish character, known for delivering increasingly inappropriate, and often insulting birthday gifts, and doing with a saccharine smile and smarmy delivery. I got as good as I gave, and a good time was mostly had by all. Now fanzines evaporated with the rise of the internet. (Why pay for B./W art, when you can get color for free in the intarwebz?) But i still think about it, and remember a few Birthdays, like Terrie Smith, who's birthday is the 20th, and our own 
rabbi-tom on the 23rd.
Well for me, today is mine, and I almost didn't make it. Last summer I had a stroke, then a heart attack a week later, which put me in a coma. My poor mother was looking for coffins and undertakers at my bed side as the doctors didn't have a lot of hope, until Dr. Faye Lee, found Dr. Bernstein, to perform a stent operation to clear a restricted artery. I came out of the coma 22 days later with my speech still impaired a bit, and no ability to draw. However I was alive. I never fell into depression (in fact, I was suffering classic clinical depression before the stroke, and didn't know it until after), because I convinced myself I would get better. Drawing defined who I was, and I would do it again. It took several months, but I feel I have regained most of my ability, and actually have felt a need to improve, and take up digital painting. (See: Blaine. See: Magnus). But this birthday also marks changes that, because of the scare, and some current health issues, I will be moving back to my family, so they can keep a closer eye on me. I will be leaving Los Angeles shortly, and returning north to the SF Bay Area. Changes, changes all around. So on this successful circumnavigation of the Earth around the Sun. I am grateful for the second chance, and feel renewed to create. I hope you all have a good day.
rabbi-tom on the 23rd.Well for me, today is mine, and I almost didn't make it. Last summer I had a stroke, then a heart attack a week later, which put me in a coma. My poor mother was looking for coffins and undertakers at my bed side as the doctors didn't have a lot of hope, until Dr. Faye Lee, found Dr. Bernstein, to perform a stent operation to clear a restricted artery. I came out of the coma 22 days later with my speech still impaired a bit, and no ability to draw. However I was alive. I never fell into depression (in fact, I was suffering classic clinical depression before the stroke, and didn't know it until after), because I convinced myself I would get better. Drawing defined who I was, and I would do it again. It took several months, but I feel I have regained most of my ability, and actually have felt a need to improve, and take up digital painting. (See: Blaine. See: Magnus). But this birthday also marks changes that, because of the scare, and some current health issues, I will be moving back to my family, so they can keep a closer eye on me. I will be leaving Los Angeles shortly, and returning north to the SF Bay Area. Changes, changes all around. So on this successful circumnavigation of the Earth around the Sun. I am grateful for the second chance, and feel renewed to create. I hope you all have a good day.
Any day above the dirt is a good one, and like my Dad used to say. "Getting older beats the alternative."
Best of luck on all the upcoming changes.
And yeah, my Dad had a similar saying: "The only thing worse than getting old is the alternative." He attributed it to Walt Kelly, who didn't even make it to my current age.
I made the move from the OC/Riverside areas to NorCal back in 2009. Haven't regretted it in the least.
And God, yes, avoid SF like the literal plague it has become.
I hope that you find something good there in SF... I hope that you are well cared for and that your life is long and meaningful... I know your art blesses and enriches so many lives...
I honestly miss the Barr WArs days, We had fun, we poked playfully at each other. We made Scudder Kidwell Squirm and ravaged his Beth the Magical Unicorn. Especially how we pulled off the two year joke! Having Terrie's Dutch, fall in love with Red and get married at SDCC, With all the Barr Warriors there at the party. Only to have the next year at SDCC Red gives birth to her son and Dutch and Red named him Steinling. Cause Donna killed her own Steinling off cause he was getting 'Too popular' with the warriors. I'll never forget Donna freaking at the art, then yelling "You motherfuckers did WHAT?! How many here knew of this? (most of the room raised hands)" Donna looking at the grinning faces and then yelling "And not ONE of you snitched to me in advance of this? You assholes!!" I'll give Donna credit, she took it in good humor that the whole gag took two years to pull off, Even drew the Peach holding the baby, cooing at it.
But then a few folks from the Dallas Brawl had to NOT follow the rules of battle and derail everything.
I was unaware of you having a heart attack after your stroke, Damn dude, you seriously did come close to facing Mr Reaper! I keep thinking of my late dear friend
I'm just damn glad you pulled through that nightmare.
Oh and happy birthday Snookums! *kisskiss*
Yeah had the stroke, spent 4 days in the hospital recovering. release Thursday night, Stay in a hotel near the hospital with my brother for a day or two, then go home. Sunday I do laundry, and was gasping like a landed trout. and what normally took me two hours took four. But I got it done. The next day I need to get cable ties and cleaning fluid at the hardware store on the next block. I decide to get breakfast at the Carl's Jr next door. crossing the street, I started feeling a little woozy. Ordering food I got woozier, and while handing over the cash I fell backwards like a tree in the forest and passed out. I woke up nearly instantly, but passed out again trying to get up. at that point an ambulance was called and i was right back at the same hospital a week later. While there the put a heart monitor on me and detected irregularities with my heart beat. In an effort to get me out of the hospital, they put my on different blood pressure meds than the ones I was using before, and the one from before suppressed the arrhythmia. So they moved me from the ER, to Cardiac CCU for monitoring me over night, Well by then Mom came down from the North bay, and So it was nice having her there while I attempted to hold conversations again. Well in the middle of a conversation , I felt sleepy and decided to take a nap. The respiratory technician, Dwayne put a B-PAP machine on me as I now need one for restful sleep.
However for some reasons I wasn't breathing right. Well I pushed the mask off, and I still could not breathe, and I told the nurse and the tech I can't breathe. My lungs were filling with, what felt like Barbasol, and while fighting for breath, I passed out again...
...not to wake up for 22, days. In the mean time I had a stent put in, and some other work, but needed several months of rehab just to regain function, but I did. Basically all of my summer was in the hospital. from June 11 to September 12th. As Dwight commented, that he knew three people that went into comas that summer, and I was the only one that woke up on the right side of the dirt.
I have heard of Mavrastar, but never met them. But then I left the MUCKS due to interpersonal drama, and went to Second Life to build things and make money (Not great money, but grocery money, and keeing my 3D skills sharp.)
But now, it's learning new things, and getting stronger every day. I have been given a second chance and I don't want to waste it.
I myself went in for a sleep study cause I just couldn't sleep for shit nightly and I've been a notorious light sleeper for years anyway. I wanted something to shut my brain off. The doctor gave me some machine to hook myself up to and record my breathing, pulse and movement. Turns out I was one level below sleep apnea but all the doctor was interested in was selling me a damn C-Pap machine. Another doctor told me to simply try reading before bed and a dose of melatonin. Between my tinnitus and the non resting brain.....not fun.
Honestly I really miss the old Barr Wars crew. We were a strong lot of sick and twisted minds that played well in the sandbox. I still fondly think of the B-52 strike we set up on Terrie's eleves, the slapping around on Scudder, who ALWAYS demanded it turn out positive in his favor...which we ignored! I wish I still had my Barr wars books, but somebody in the Tucson connection borrowed them and never returned them.
Thing is, we getting old, and that itself sucks. But like a bad penny, we keep turning up.
You tend to have the best questions and comments. Keep it up!
~Butler James from "Her 90th Birthday"
i suppose that's something we should all wish for- young or old- that the years we have will be filled with that which brings us joy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfCDJfnQI1Q
Glad to still have you around.
Edit: And Happy Birthday! You really had to work hard to fill that last segment in the XP bar.
Dominus tecum
I had my own scare 2 yrs ago, still freaks me out. I was having anemic problems (due to severe lady bleeding) and one day was feeling horrid, kind of faint, suddenly could not lift my arms... panicked and went to hospital. Discovered my blood count was dangerously low and that I had a very lg pelvic mass. Stayed in the ICU and had emergency surgery two days later, to find out I had a very lg cyst on my right ovary. Had contained granulosa cell tumor, fully enclosed. One week, 14 pt of blood and 2 of plasma later I left, thinking all was well.
Fast forward to 1 yr later, lady bleeding once again very severe, monitoring heavily. When no solution worked, was recommended to receive a hyst to solve it and prevent earlier issue. Feb 18, Discovered on removal of uterus that I had a second tumor, fairly small, in stage 1. Am currently approaching 2nd preventative chemo treatment (of 6, over 18 weeks) and feel better than maybe I ever have.
Sometimes, despite that I feel very depressed, but I am working thru. In many ways, seeing a fellow artist I admire coming back from something so tough and frightening is helpful.
Thank you for sharing and good luck all along your way, amd may the future be bright for both of us.
And again, happy birthday!
Just keep that pencil moving and aim for improvement every day.