FA+
Shop
23/4/2019: Different kinds of progress
6 years ago
Hey everyone,
First off, apologies for the radio silence on here in the last couple of weeks and in general; I also want to give a wider apology to you all for the slump in progress seen over the winter and feel I should give some context as to what's happened and what I've been doing about it.
Game development is continuing and is in fact getting to be more productive than I've been in about a year or so now; this is primarily, I believe, due to some rather drastic changes I've made in my life and health which included breaking off from an anti-anxiety medication I'd been on for a little while now, losing a lot of weight, all that good stuff.
I decided to start doing this for quite a few reasons, some of them are a bit too close to the bone for me to want to detail them but suffice to say, me and my dad were on the same pills and the choices he ended up making were... not something I wanted to resign myself to following, so I decided I needed to rip everything away and start fresh.
There's some posts that I think (I hope) I made publicly viewable on Patreon that go into more detail as to breaking off the medication and my feelings while I was going through that process, so on so forth, which may give you a better understanding of why I decided to go through with it.
I'm still suffering the effects of withdrawal but, compared to a week ago I'm not in some kind of Trainspotting-esque fug state where I can barely sleep more than an hour at a time so that's something, and while I took that opportunity to just collapse and coccoon myself until the worst was over I've been getting back to normality, slowly but surely, and with it I've found my concentration, drive, motivation etc etc. is starting to return to me.
I'm very happy to say that, because I'd been suspecting for a while that these pills the doctor had given me were really only resetting the problem continually, and much as it's still difficult dealing with my head completely without any kind of 'take X to feel better' left I'm starting to find a clarity to my thoughts and feelings that I honestly forgot was even a thing xD
I wouldn't advise anyone do the same without consulting your doctor if these kinds of things are problems for you too, but for my circumstances and the way of thinking I'd become acustomed to it was necessary for me to do anything in my power to try and stabilize before things got out of hand.
Furthermore I want to say thank you to all of you who've supported me since this project started; much as this past year I have gone through some pretty decimating shit I never even considered giving up on this game because people believed in me and supported me and gave me something to focus on when there really wasn't anything else, at least for a while; if I didn't have that, who knows how much worse things might have gotten for me? I certainly know I wouldn't have had the motivation and strength to endure this if I wasn't hell-bent on finding a way to be able to work to the capacity I need to and do it properly, and now here I am with the clearest head I've had since teenage-dom started kicking in and I still have the opportunity to make something awesome for you guys; I really don't know how I got so lucky but I hope this outlines how far I'm willing to go to return the favor to all of you!
Anyway, back to work with me; specifically in the last couple of weeks, when I have worked, I've been working on the sex animation for the Pharmacy Worker again (and have been very much enjoying it too!), as well as a new intro sequence and some drawing, generally trying to brush my skills back up and ease back into a work schedule.
So yeah, TL;DR I know I haven't been working at my best for a while now, and I apologize unreservedly for that; but I hope that what I've done has struck at the heart of the issue rather than just cut off hydra heads as they sprouted and I already feel like my hope for that is paying off!
not sure how to end this so, yeah; hope you all have a nice day, and hope to be able to get some fun stuff to you ASAP ^^
-S
First off, apologies for the radio silence on here in the last couple of weeks and in general; I also want to give a wider apology to you all for the slump in progress seen over the winter and feel I should give some context as to what's happened and what I've been doing about it.
Game development is continuing and is in fact getting to be more productive than I've been in about a year or so now; this is primarily, I believe, due to some rather drastic changes I've made in my life and health which included breaking off from an anti-anxiety medication I'd been on for a little while now, losing a lot of weight, all that good stuff.
I decided to start doing this for quite a few reasons, some of them are a bit too close to the bone for me to want to detail them but suffice to say, me and my dad were on the same pills and the choices he ended up making were... not something I wanted to resign myself to following, so I decided I needed to rip everything away and start fresh.
There's some posts that I think (I hope) I made publicly viewable on Patreon that go into more detail as to breaking off the medication and my feelings while I was going through that process, so on so forth, which may give you a better understanding of why I decided to go through with it.
I'm still suffering the effects of withdrawal but, compared to a week ago I'm not in some kind of Trainspotting-esque fug state where I can barely sleep more than an hour at a time so that's something, and while I took that opportunity to just collapse and coccoon myself until the worst was over I've been getting back to normality, slowly but surely, and with it I've found my concentration, drive, motivation etc etc. is starting to return to me.
I'm very happy to say that, because I'd been suspecting for a while that these pills the doctor had given me were really only resetting the problem continually, and much as it's still difficult dealing with my head completely without any kind of 'take X to feel better' left I'm starting to find a clarity to my thoughts and feelings that I honestly forgot was even a thing xD
I wouldn't advise anyone do the same without consulting your doctor if these kinds of things are problems for you too, but for my circumstances and the way of thinking I'd become acustomed to it was necessary for me to do anything in my power to try and stabilize before things got out of hand.
Furthermore I want to say thank you to all of you who've supported me since this project started; much as this past year I have gone through some pretty decimating shit I never even considered giving up on this game because people believed in me and supported me and gave me something to focus on when there really wasn't anything else, at least for a while; if I didn't have that, who knows how much worse things might have gotten for me? I certainly know I wouldn't have had the motivation and strength to endure this if I wasn't hell-bent on finding a way to be able to work to the capacity I need to and do it properly, and now here I am with the clearest head I've had since teenage-dom started kicking in and I still have the opportunity to make something awesome for you guys; I really don't know how I got so lucky but I hope this outlines how far I'm willing to go to return the favor to all of you!
Anyway, back to work with me; specifically in the last couple of weeks, when I have worked, I've been working on the sex animation for the Pharmacy Worker again (and have been very much enjoying it too!), as well as a new intro sequence and some drawing, generally trying to brush my skills back up and ease back into a work schedule.
So yeah, TL;DR I know I haven't been working at my best for a while now, and I apologize unreservedly for that; but I hope that what I've done has struck at the heart of the issue rather than just cut off hydra heads as they sprouted and I already feel like my hope for that is paying off!
not sure how to end this so, yeah; hope you all have a nice day, and hope to be able to get some fun stuff to you ASAP ^^
-S
You were going through some rough times. So it's completely understandable that you took it slowly. So really, don't apologize.
And I hope those bad times are out of the way now!
I know how you felt about those meds you were taking though. I was on anti depressants before, and they were just killing my motivation for anything. I mean, I usually have no motivation, but those meds were driving it into negative values. So I also stopped taking them after a while. consulted a doctor first of course. So I do know how you feel with that. And you had another reason to stop taking your meds, so I don't blame you
Good luck with the withdrawal! You can do it! Just take it easy on yourself, and keep your friends close
If you want to, I'm always open to chat and listen :3
And just keep it up with your game as well. You're doing an amazing job, and like you said, you're making lots of people happy
But, remember to stay happy yourself! ^w^
I'm looking forward to the new update and posts to see what you came up with ^w^
Let me congratulate you as hard as I can... because that is HARD. I'm not being sarcastic, I lost 40+ pounds myself only for it to come right back. It's not an easy thing to do and to KEEP off, so I'm serious, congratulations. :3
It's also good to hear from you again. <3