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life update (suicide trigger warning)
6 years ago
I have Gotten no commissions completed since I took on the commissions from March - Now... I feel terrible and horrible about it. I've been trying to stay off my phone, stay away from social media.. stay away from technology in general and even basic conversation.
I have been dealing with suicidal thoughts and paranoia and anxiety and depression. I went missing, because I drove 3 hrs from home and parked my car in the middle of a train track.
I truly wanted to die. The voices in my head were getting too loud ... I came to my senses eventually and called my boyfriend.
Police were involved and I went to the hospital. I saw my family doctor to get much needed help. Thank you all for your understanding and patience.
I understand If any of you would like a refund that's tottally acceptable and I won't hold anything against you for it.
I will complete them, because I love drawing furry stuffs, I would just love to do it on a non stress basis and take my time and not overwhelm myself.
If anyone could please pass this message forward to my f.a. or any groups, my wall, my posts, or anyone else u know that has purchased a commission from me last few months, that would be incredible.
I apologize for the long long delay. Art is my entire life.
As a tattoo artist I still have to draw tattoo designs every single night, so it leaves me no time to work on these until Saturdays and Sundays, which are usually left for cleaning and spending time with my son.
That - in itself- is overwhelming.
the boyfriend (of 7 years , my childs father) and I have been going through some hard times and arguing and fighting a lot because of this..
At this point he feels like its his fault and blames himself. My mental disorders are hereditary and pass on through several generations.
I am trying my hardest to stitch close an open wound ive left on everyone.
I am now on new medication ( Quetiapine Fumarate ) and it takes a few weeks to work , I am back to myself but still have buttloads of Anxiety and Paranoia.
I'm sorry if i havent answered some of you. I hate talking about it and I dont like spending a lot of time on my phone now. Hell i havent been on FA since i took on those sketches.
I am okay. I am recovering. I just need some time.
Thank you all so much for being there. <3
I have been dealing with suicidal thoughts and paranoia and anxiety and depression. I went missing, because I drove 3 hrs from home and parked my car in the middle of a train track.
I truly wanted to die. The voices in my head were getting too loud ... I came to my senses eventually and called my boyfriend.
Police were involved and I went to the hospital. I saw my family doctor to get much needed help. Thank you all for your understanding and patience.
I understand If any of you would like a refund that's tottally acceptable and I won't hold anything against you for it.
I will complete them, because I love drawing furry stuffs, I would just love to do it on a non stress basis and take my time and not overwhelm myself.
If anyone could please pass this message forward to my f.a. or any groups, my wall, my posts, or anyone else u know that has purchased a commission from me last few months, that would be incredible.
I apologize for the long long delay. Art is my entire life.
As a tattoo artist I still have to draw tattoo designs every single night, so it leaves me no time to work on these until Saturdays and Sundays, which are usually left for cleaning and spending time with my son.
That - in itself- is overwhelming.
the boyfriend (of 7 years , my childs father) and I have been going through some hard times and arguing and fighting a lot because of this..
At this point he feels like its his fault and blames himself. My mental disorders are hereditary and pass on through several generations.
I am trying my hardest to stitch close an open wound ive left on everyone.
I am now on new medication ( Quetiapine Fumarate ) and it takes a few weeks to work , I am back to myself but still have buttloads of Anxiety and Paranoia.
I'm sorry if i havent answered some of you. I hate talking about it and I dont like spending a lot of time on my phone now. Hell i havent been on FA since i took on those sketches.
I am okay. I am recovering. I just need some time.
Thank you all so much for being there. <3
Honestly, I’ve waited longer than this for a commission fr less reasons than you have, so I dont mind waiting a little bit more, please feel better soon!
Mental illnesses are no joke. :c
The road is rough, but you have dreams to live, and people Who love what you do and what you are, that will support you no matter what.
Sincerely. A stranger.
*hugs*
I want to help you in anyway possible. I always feel happy and bouncy being with you, and you made my fursuit come to life! You don't realize how much happiness you delivered to me. Reach me out anytime you want Nox
muruskitiger