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Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.
6 years ago
General
I just cut one of my longest-running friends of over 10 years out of my life.
It was not a decision I made lightly. I fought to keep things held together for a very, very long time now. But they continued to show little-to-no interest in trying with me, always trying to burn the bridge. Always dumping their problems on me, and avoiding giving my own the light of day. Just avoiding me in general, going behind my back, and keeping my own emotions bottled up for fear of retaliation.
Obviously, having been friends for as long as we did, things didn't always used to be this way. We were as close as any two friends could be without being in love with each other. Best buds until the end. Except it wasn't.
I waited for them an entire year, every day, when theydisappeared off of the face of the planet. They could have died and I would have never known. I stuck it out for them, because that's my best friend, god damn it.
But they couldn't even give me a single moment inside of two weeks of their time when my dad had cancer. No, they would rather rant here on FA to a hundred people they didn't know about their problems, because I didn't want to hear it for the first time in years.
I won't air all of our countless dirty laundry out here. I don't want to be a scumbag and harp on them for everything they've done for me. They wouldn't listen to me, and I don't want to fill up a wall of text filled with a rant with no decipherable context other than between the two of us.
But I do want to say this.
Everyone who says they've escaped from someone who has emotionally abused them that I've seen, seems to say it is extremely liberating to be let free of the chains that kept them locked to that individual.
Currently? I don't feel that way, even in the slightest. I can't even begin to describe the pain of giving up on such a close friend. I wanted so badly for it to work, and I'm already beating myself up about it for not trying harder.
But I've already begun to accept that, maybe it was the best I could do. I tried everything, and over time, those wounds will heal. Maybe not completely, but enough that I will feel free, just like the rest of everyone who's had to go through this.
So thank you. To everyone who has been strong enough to pull away from those who would pull you under, for inspiring me to do the same.
Don't ever be afraid to let go. If someone is holding you down, even if it's someone who you used to be close with, then set your boundaries. Know when it's too far gone. It will hurt. But things will get better. You'll find new friends, people who truly care about you the way they once did. I have, and I can't thank them enough for what they do for me.
I'm sorry. I just needed to get this off of my chest. It's been another difficult few months, and I'll try to be back up and running soon enough. For now, I need time. I'll get back to everyone whenever I can. In the meantime, I hope everyone is well.
It was not a decision I made lightly. I fought to keep things held together for a very, very long time now. But they continued to show little-to-no interest in trying with me, always trying to burn the bridge. Always dumping their problems on me, and avoiding giving my own the light of day. Just avoiding me in general, going behind my back, and keeping my own emotions bottled up for fear of retaliation.
Obviously, having been friends for as long as we did, things didn't always used to be this way. We were as close as any two friends could be without being in love with each other. Best buds until the end. Except it wasn't.
I waited for them an entire year, every day, when theydisappeared off of the face of the planet. They could have died and I would have never known. I stuck it out for them, because that's my best friend, god damn it.
But they couldn't even give me a single moment inside of two weeks of their time when my dad had cancer. No, they would rather rant here on FA to a hundred people they didn't know about their problems, because I didn't want to hear it for the first time in years.
I won't air all of our countless dirty laundry out here. I don't want to be a scumbag and harp on them for everything they've done for me. They wouldn't listen to me, and I don't want to fill up a wall of text filled with a rant with no decipherable context other than between the two of us.
But I do want to say this.
Everyone who says they've escaped from someone who has emotionally abused them that I've seen, seems to say it is extremely liberating to be let free of the chains that kept them locked to that individual.
Currently? I don't feel that way, even in the slightest. I can't even begin to describe the pain of giving up on such a close friend. I wanted so badly for it to work, and I'm already beating myself up about it for not trying harder.
But I've already begun to accept that, maybe it was the best I could do. I tried everything, and over time, those wounds will heal. Maybe not completely, but enough that I will feel free, just like the rest of everyone who's had to go through this.
So thank you. To everyone who has been strong enough to pull away from those who would pull you under, for inspiring me to do the same.
Don't ever be afraid to let go. If someone is holding you down, even if it's someone who you used to be close with, then set your boundaries. Know when it's too far gone. It will hurt. But things will get better. You'll find new friends, people who truly care about you the way they once did. I have, and I can't thank them enough for what they do for me.
I'm sorry. I just needed to get this off of my chest. It's been another difficult few months, and I'll try to be back up and running soon enough. For now, I need time. I'll get back to everyone whenever I can. In the meantime, I hope everyone is well.
Thank you for the kind words. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only person who has gone through this, and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm deadset on working my way through that tunnel now, with friends that truly care. Things will be OK from here on.