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No you're not
6 years ago
General
I remember texting or trying to get in touch with some friends that seemed hard to get in touch with.
They aren't, but good luck trying to keep up a conversation with them.
They're good people and seem to genuinely want to be friends.
At least that's what I thought at first. Then one day you're coming around the corner, or they happen to call and thinks they puts you on hold but it was an accidentally 3-way, and you hear something you weren't expecting to hear.
Or you're out and about and see another of their friends, and they tell a different story then what you were told by them.
These, and more, were the case with my friends.
Throughout life, I've long since known that I was often not given the whole story, had information withheld that I felt I really needed, and flat out lied to. I knew about much of this already, and so it's hard for me to trust people.
Thus, in order to try and get closer to getting the truth, I had and continue to have to go beyond the simple spoken word of people. I have to listen to certain audio cues, pay attention to expressions, observe their actions, etc.
This is nothing new, though I don't think there are a lot of people who do this or are familiar with this. Or maybe they are and I'm just clueless again.
This sucks because I feel I'm being... what's the word?... dishonest by going above a person's word to figure out what and how they really feel. At the same time, it's because I feel and often times know the other is dishonest that I have to do it.
Not to mention, at lot of this is very time critical and time consuming. You can miss a split second expression that could speak volumes, at the same time, getting to the bottom of the truth can take days, weeks, even years.
Years. When in reality it could have only taken a few seconds to a couple of minutes to just tell the truth.
It was because of these actions that I learned so many of my friends (and co-workers) weren't very honest to me and in some cases really didn't like me at all or were just using me.
I'd be told things like they were busy when they actually weren't. I just wanted to hang out of a few hours one day but they were super busy working multiple jobs. Actually they were off for a few days and were having a sleep over with everyone else but me.
I'd be told their phone wasn't working or they were often here and there with little time. Actually they were almost constantly on their phone. Even when driving. And they were often at home because they couldn't find or hold a job for long.
As I've said, it's not just friends, and it isn't just limited to offline. I have literally begged for hours at work for years. I was always given an excuse. Always. Even when I defeated that excuse, there was another one ready to take its place. Pre-planned no doubt.
But when it came to their friends or sex companions or just people they liked, there was nothing they couldn't have. Doesn't matter if it was illegal or just plain unfair to many others.
Trying to hang out with "friends" online for a little bit, or just trying to have a small conversation on IMs? Watch helplessly as they flail about looking to suddenly need to run away forever or suddenly have something to do, or pretend they are asleep.
But notice they are having frequent conversations with everyone else, or jump up the moment anyone else wants to hang out. I've even tried inviting people to private streams. Streams just for them for stuff they asked for, and they couldn't be bothered. "Busy".
Yet ~mere seconds beforehand~, they were talking opening about having nothing to do, and awaiting stuff from others. FREE stuff, mind you.
Even other people I tried to work with. I tried working on a few indie game teams. I tried heavily motivating and getting people ready for one group, and no one cared. At least not when I did it. I then noticed later almost all my shouts were deleted.
Almost all of my notes were always ignore. THEY WERE READ, often times very soon after I made them, but nothing. Tried to get the leader of the other one to cooperate with me, but they were always "too busy" doing everything else (nothing at all).
I figured at some point, instead of always trying to chase after people, let's see how long it takes them to contact me. If we're really friends, then surely it won't take that long, right?
With some of them, I had waited over 18 months before I finally got too tired of waiting and said something. With the last indie game, I waited 11 months before trying [again] to talk to the leader, only to realize it's just futile and they were never serious.
With another person, I think I had asked for either 8 months or close to 3 years just to hang out for 5 to 10 minutes. I'm not even kidding. There was always a constant excuse. One day they finally agreed. I was so happy.
I met them [online] where they said they'd be, and they asked if I had some money. I said sure, thinking we'd get to hang out afterwards. Without a word (not even thank you), they walked away.
It wasn't until almost 40 minutes later of just sitting there like a lost loser that I realized they weren't coming back. I asked and asked to hang out, and there was always something, even though just moments before they said they weren't busy.
At some point, I stopped asking to hang out and started asking just to see what new BS they'd come up with, until one day they made a journal about me, so I just stopped asking altogether.
Apparently this was a thing with them long before I met them. I guess that's what that forum was all about. Meh.
IMs? I don't use too many, but the ones I do use, I'm usually the one starting the conversations. Like about 90%+ of the time. But I got tired of always starting them and waited to see when someone would say something to me.
It's been months, over a year with a few people, and I'm still waiting...
I get to the house later today and see where an old friend I had been trying to contact for a long time finally said something. Last time he voluntarily spoken to me was... November 2014. -___-
Come on, dude.
Now, I want to reiterate this once again. I've said it time and time before, but I don't think too many people believe me or understand me when I say it.
I DO NOT HATE ANYONE. I really don't. Oh trust me, some of the things people do get on my nerves, even to the point where I just don't want to be around them anymore. But I don't hate anyone.
Even if I dislike a person, there's no reason we can't talk, figure things out and make them better.
But the things people do to others, this stuff right here... that is devastating to a person's mind and self-worth.
It's so much one of the reasons why I don't even bother trying to meet new people. I do, but I don't go out of my way to do it.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to once again fix my bike and tend to my kids.
They aren't, but good luck trying to keep up a conversation with them.
They're good people and seem to genuinely want to be friends.
At least that's what I thought at first. Then one day you're coming around the corner, or they happen to call and thinks they puts you on hold but it was an accidentally 3-way, and you hear something you weren't expecting to hear.
Or you're out and about and see another of their friends, and they tell a different story then what you were told by them.
These, and more, were the case with my friends.
Throughout life, I've long since known that I was often not given the whole story, had information withheld that I felt I really needed, and flat out lied to. I knew about much of this already, and so it's hard for me to trust people.
Thus, in order to try and get closer to getting the truth, I had and continue to have to go beyond the simple spoken word of people. I have to listen to certain audio cues, pay attention to expressions, observe their actions, etc.
This is nothing new, though I don't think there are a lot of people who do this or are familiar with this. Or maybe they are and I'm just clueless again.
This sucks because I feel I'm being... what's the word?... dishonest by going above a person's word to figure out what and how they really feel. At the same time, it's because I feel and often times know the other is dishonest that I have to do it.
Not to mention, at lot of this is very time critical and time consuming. You can miss a split second expression that could speak volumes, at the same time, getting to the bottom of the truth can take days, weeks, even years.
Years. When in reality it could have only taken a few seconds to a couple of minutes to just tell the truth.
It was because of these actions that I learned so many of my friends (and co-workers) weren't very honest to me and in some cases really didn't like me at all or were just using me.
I'd be told things like they were busy when they actually weren't. I just wanted to hang out of a few hours one day but they were super busy working multiple jobs. Actually they were off for a few days and were having a sleep over with everyone else but me.
I'd be told their phone wasn't working or they were often here and there with little time. Actually they were almost constantly on their phone. Even when driving. And they were often at home because they couldn't find or hold a job for long.
As I've said, it's not just friends, and it isn't just limited to offline. I have literally begged for hours at work for years. I was always given an excuse. Always. Even when I defeated that excuse, there was another one ready to take its place. Pre-planned no doubt.
But when it came to their friends or sex companions or just people they liked, there was nothing they couldn't have. Doesn't matter if it was illegal or just plain unfair to many others.
Trying to hang out with "friends" online for a little bit, or just trying to have a small conversation on IMs? Watch helplessly as they flail about looking to suddenly need to run away forever or suddenly have something to do, or pretend they are asleep.
But notice they are having frequent conversations with everyone else, or jump up the moment anyone else wants to hang out. I've even tried inviting people to private streams. Streams just for them for stuff they asked for, and they couldn't be bothered. "Busy".
Yet ~mere seconds beforehand~, they were talking opening about having nothing to do, and awaiting stuff from others. FREE stuff, mind you.
Even other people I tried to work with. I tried working on a few indie game teams. I tried heavily motivating and getting people ready for one group, and no one cared. At least not when I did it. I then noticed later almost all my shouts were deleted.
Almost all of my notes were always ignore. THEY WERE READ, often times very soon after I made them, but nothing. Tried to get the leader of the other one to cooperate with me, but they were always "too busy" doing everything else (nothing at all).
I figured at some point, instead of always trying to chase after people, let's see how long it takes them to contact me. If we're really friends, then surely it won't take that long, right?
With some of them, I had waited over 18 months before I finally got too tired of waiting and said something. With the last indie game, I waited 11 months before trying [again] to talk to the leader, only to realize it's just futile and they were never serious.
With another person, I think I had asked for either 8 months or close to 3 years just to hang out for 5 to 10 minutes. I'm not even kidding. There was always a constant excuse. One day they finally agreed. I was so happy.
I met them [online] where they said they'd be, and they asked if I had some money. I said sure, thinking we'd get to hang out afterwards. Without a word (not even thank you), they walked away.
It wasn't until almost 40 minutes later of just sitting there like a lost loser that I realized they weren't coming back. I asked and asked to hang out, and there was always something, even though just moments before they said they weren't busy.
At some point, I stopped asking to hang out and started asking just to see what new BS they'd come up with, until one day they made a journal about me, so I just stopped asking altogether.
Apparently this was a thing with them long before I met them. I guess that's what that forum was all about. Meh.
IMs? I don't use too many, but the ones I do use, I'm usually the one starting the conversations. Like about 90%+ of the time. But I got tired of always starting them and waited to see when someone would say something to me.
It's been months, over a year with a few people, and I'm still waiting...
I get to the house later today and see where an old friend I had been trying to contact for a long time finally said something. Last time he voluntarily spoken to me was... November 2014. -___-
Come on, dude.
Now, I want to reiterate this once again. I've said it time and time before, but I don't think too many people believe me or understand me when I say it.
I DO NOT HATE ANYONE. I really don't. Oh trust me, some of the things people do get on my nerves, even to the point where I just don't want to be around them anymore. But I don't hate anyone.
Even if I dislike a person, there's no reason we can't talk, figure things out and make them better.
But the things people do to others, this stuff right here... that is devastating to a person's mind and self-worth.
It's so much one of the reasons why I don't even bother trying to meet new people. I do, but I don't go out of my way to do it.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to once again fix my bike and tend to my kids.
It's a few specific people. I don't know that many people, so a few to me is like half the people I know, heh.
that such things have happened to me, pretty much every place i've worked.
i don't miss having people in real life, and of course, that seems to bother them even more.
its something i've learned to expect, but not entirely understand, nor how to avoid.
so i just make my pictures and people can like that or not as they will.
It didn't seem to matter.
I don't need to know a huge amount of people, and quite frankly I was getting tired of meeting the same type of people anyway.
As you say, it's expected what they are going to do, but seems to be unavoidable in many cases.
I wouldn't mind that much meeting new people, but my main gripe is wondering why the ones I know now dislike me so.
I've been trying to take your advice, to just ignore all the other stuff and do what I like.
Though it's been... a challenge trying to take my mind off of those who I've had my mind on for so long and just make stuff.
I'm trying to get back in it though. It's unfortunately very slow going now, but I'm hoping to pick up speed and motivation soon.